Now, I don't know who planted this nut last autumn - it could have been a squirrel; it could have been a jay; it could have been a different critter - and I don't want to get into an argument about who the nut belonged to in the first place. Life is too short and winters are too brutal, and - if the truth be told - it's nice to see the little feller get a piece of the action for a change. All too often, food is snatched away from them by bigger and higher components in the food-chain. Sometimes the little feller provides a meal in himself, and I am still going to avoid taking a moral stance about it.
Now - the naming of stars. There was a bloke who, a few years ago, was quite legally (?) selling plots of real-estate on the moon. That is not quite as surprising as the fact that some people were actually buying them. I don't know if the proud owners of these plots will ever have the opportunity to visit their little patch of The Sea of Tranquility, but even if their grand children do, they will probably find that the landscape has been despoiled by a Russian or Chinese mining company before they arrived, and they are arrested for trespass and transported to a colony on Mars.
There is still a company that will - for a fee, silly - register your name to the star of your choice. Don't panic and rush out to find this company though, there are plenty of stars to go around, so you have enough time to save up for the fee before they run out of them for you to choose from.
Have you ever wondered if you have left it too late to convert to Mormonism? Well - again - don't worry, because it's never too late. As I write, there is a medium-sized army of people beavering away in a disused, air-conditioned mine in Salt Lake City, Utah, collating vital information on the new-born of every country in the world which bothers to keep records of births and deaths.
You and I are certainly on their records, now that all that pesky paperwork has given way to digitized storage.
If you reach the end of your natural life having forgot to turn yourself into a Mormon, fear not. They will do it for you after your death, once they have been alerted to it. So if you find yourself waiting a little longer in some vast limbo, ante-chamber than you were expecting, don't panic - help is on it's way.