Saturday 11 February 2012

Available August 28th


Well, it looks as though Cher has finally given up on me and stopped following, and it looks as though she's banished me from her site as well. I haven't dared to comment on her latest post this morning for fear of rejection and noticing that I am now down to 84 this morning, I trawled through the list to see who had jumped ship, and her name was nowhere to be found.

It has to be because of the photo of the packet of oats that I lifted from her abandoned post last night and posted up on my own, along with the finishing off of her sentence with a rather flippant serving suggestion which had John in a complete tizzy which culminated in his storming off in a huff because of the amount of times I deleted his contribution of "Huh?". I very rarely delete comments (as Chris will attest), but I just thought that when Cher did get around to looking at it, it would only compound the confusion to explain something which was unexplainable - a simple hi-jack and piss-take. Shame, really - she is my closest physical neighbor, only a few miles away from Bath, but her contributions to my scribblings had pretty much dried up anyway.

Anyway, I've torn the post down, screwed it up and thrown it in the bin now, but I doubt if that will be that. Well, I hope not anyway.

I'm just plucking up the courage to install Snow Leopard (TM) on this Mac, so this post is more of a displacement activity than anything with real substance. I suppose it is a heart-felt request for a group prayer, really. If it all goes wrong, then you might not hear from me for some time anyway, but I might make a sacrifice to the gods if it all goes right - maybe I'll put up a sacred blog which contains all the deleted comments from the past 868 posts. It would be a very short, very dull and very unpopular entry though.

I don't know how often or how deeply you ever delve into the darkest recesses of your computer, but it is a scary experience if you don't know what you are doing. I always feel as though I should take a virtual ball of string in with me so that I can find my way back again, but have never found one long enough. Apparently the corridor lighting on this latest operating system is vastly improved - let's hope they have put up a lot of signposts down there too.

The thing that Macs are known for best is their ease of use, and a lot of the development goes into making them 'idiot-proof'. The downside of this is that they tend to turn the average user into an idiot in the process, they are that clever.

I have an image of row upon row of 22 year-old geeks, sitting in air-conditioned offices in California, all mumbling to their nearest neighbor in undecipherable Beavis and Butthead-speak as they rattle off codes and cyphers late into the cicada trilling night as pre-recorded messages from Steve Jobs echo from unseen speakers around them, keeping them on message.

I wonder what will happen when those messages run out? Mr Jobs was a pretty good talker, by all accounts, so I will probably be dead before his utterances become obsolete. That image says, 'Available August 28th' - let's hope they don't mean this August.

Right - time for that prayer.

36 comments:

  1. An 84 member group hug and we'll see you on the other side. Good luck, my intrepid friend....you could be some time..........

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  2. I'ts been a long time since I've seen the 'bomb' icon on a mac screen Tom.

    Take a screen shot of it will you. :-D

    This comment will self-destruct in 10 secon...

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  3. Well it's done, and I am now staring at a shiny new screenful of gadgets which I didn't have before. Everything seems to still be where I left it, but just looks shinier and appears much quicker than it used to - so far, so good- I feel reborn!

    Now I am going to set up the TrackPad which sparked all of this off...

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  4. A born again Snow Leopard. Oh wow! I hope Cher comes back, I do. Managed to read the previous post you put up Tom and gotta confess it made me laugh, but not in any way mean or spiteful. It was just funny which I think was how it was intended, and cheered up a bit of a grey day here. I knew you were taking the piste like you're so good at and the comments were worth an Oscar like they are.

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    1. Oh good - I'm glad it made you laugh, Molly. If I'd known that, I would have left it up. P.S. I love the way you somehow manage to write in a Welsh accent.

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  5. God bless you and amen...

    Early in my computing experience sometime in the mid-nineties I delved into the dark corners of my computer programming. I decided that the Windows files needed neatening up and so I started organizing files into folders... Nothing untoward happened on the day and I proceeded with my work until quitting time. The next day I could not boot up and I could not understand why and called the office computer guru to come. After about an hour of total confusion on his part as how Windows could just disappear I suddenly remembered that I had had a clean-up the day before. That was the last time I delved so deeply though not the last time I was so stupid, I expect ...

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    1. Luckily, I seem to have got away with it. I wouldn't have a clue about Microsoft stuff though.

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  6. Software update in progress... 111 - no, wait... 99... no wait... 113 minutes left to go...

    Of course, now I have upgraded the system, I have now had to upgrade all the software for it too - a lot of stuff has been invented since they wrote that program.

    I think I will leave setting up the TrackPad until tomorrow - I must get out into the sun and stop staring at this bloody screen!

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    1. And that is of course how the bastards get you. Now you have to get new software.

      I've had to re-mortgage my house eight times to pay for it all.

      Hey-ho. It's only money.

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    2. No it's not - all the new software updates are free, after paying for the whole system which was £26 on disc, delivered.

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  7. I had just finished writing the above, when another software update appeared beneath the page as I closed it down, and it included Aluminium Keyboard update...

    Right. Now I really AM going out into the sun... unless another package arrives on the dashboard.

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  8. Didn't manage to read said post I don't think Tom, and must say that most of what you say today seems to float above my head. But love the snow leopard pic and trust you to say anything derogatory with tongue in cheek.

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  9. no huff from me..... I just pissed of cos I was bored of trying to work out what the fuck you were on about!!!

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  10. of should have read OFF .... my keys are sticking

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  11. You would not believe how fast this machine is now - it's so good when you actually see results from doing a bit of maintanence. (how do you spell that word?)

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  12. I was reading that John G just lost a few followers because he killed two of his lovely pigs! :(
    I guess we have to be a bit considerate at times, I think.
    For example, I always try to keep certain 'four letter' words off my blog. They maybe OK down the pub with mates, but with blogs, you never know who might take offence.
    Followers are like friends invited into your home/world.

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    1. should I have not blogged about the pigs Bernard?

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    2. Too fucking right, Bernard, you old bastard.

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    3. P.S. - Do you invite your followers into your home, Bernard???!! You must be a braver old c*** than I thought you were.

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  13. John & Tom.
    They are your blogs and you do exactly what you want. (including slaughter).
    But you mustn't be surprised if some things are not to everyone's taste and they stop 'following'.

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    1. I wasn't surprised either. What amazes me is the sheer quantity of interior designers and lifestyle addicts who put up with my obscene rants. I've got rid of one or two in the past, but the rest of them seem to enjoy them. I doubt if they would invite me round to their place, though.

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  14. Bernard... I wasnt surprised.....
    just interested that you felt you had to coment about my pigs on someone else's blog...
    sheesh! Everyone's a fucking critic

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  15. hummm do you object to me slaughtering the pigs bernard? it sounds like you do?
    just wondered cos on one of your posts I noted you had cooked a turkey? how did that die? old age or did you just bore it to death?

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    1. That's the spirit, John. I love a good scrap over ethics.

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  16. certainly more interesting than fucking metal handbags thomas

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    1. Well at least if you got one, it wouldn't hurt too much when you whacked me with it in one of your strops.

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  17. ohh!errrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    lol
    I see the turkey eater have just fucked off being your follower

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    1. Oh, so it was him. I didn't notice, because Cathy with the Viking name must have slipped into his empty seat while it was still warm.

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  18. I just lost a follower but I never know who has gone.
    Really enjoyed the rolled oats post anyway Tom. Delicious ... then I read the rest and found out where they'd been. Damn.

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  19. You should have read the deleted post - you would never have eaten porridge again, Sarah.

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