Thursday 9 February 2012

All the King's horses


There was an article in a national British newspaper today, which featured how a selection of medical doctors would choose how to die, given the choice.

Apparently, most of them said that they would decline all of the major treatments for cancer, having seen the end results and the symptoms which lead up to them.

It seems that they have been caught out so many times with regard to the prognosis of life expectancy in untreated patients, and been disappointed by the extension and quality of the life of patients treated with chemo and radio therapy, that they would rather not go through the same procedures themselves - thanks anyway. What - after all - is two or three months extra, when the quality of that time is so severely compromised by the treatment?

In the summer of 1943, a nurse was leaving her house on The Paragon, Bath, and just stepped onto the pavement to go to work at a nearby hospital, when she received a direct hit from a German 1000 pound bomb.

The bomb not only completely demolished about three of the terraced houses, but also utterly vapourised her, so that no body part has ever been found in the vicinity for burial.

In some way, she is still up there, and the houses that were rebuilt a couple of years later must contain some remnants of her corporeal form, even within the mortar and foundations.

I wonder what that experience is like as a way to go? Do you think it speeds you on your way, or slows you down?

18 comments:

  1. in 1992 I did a placement at SouthPort spinal injury unit. This centre specialises in the care of patients who are paralysed more or less totally and have to be ventilated for life...
    I remember thinking that many of the patients would choose death over a lifetime on a vent.... but do you know when push came to shove the majority of patients that took part in a research project wanted to live...
    life in any form perhaps is paramount.......
    so said the research anyhow

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    1. Yes - that chimp inside us is really keen on staying alive to carry on eating, sleeping and picking it's nose. Just one more sunrise...

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  2. I recently witnessed first-hand the quality of life after chemo/radiation treatment in a family member. Four years he fought this demon called cancer, each day he asked for just one more, and never gave up.
    He dwindled to a former shell of himself, and when the day came when he asked to please help him die, we knew there was no more hope.
    I think it is hope that keeps them going, bedridden or not.
    ~Jo

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  3. My mothers wishes were to never be kept alive by artificial means, and to die of she had a severe stroke leaving her paralyzed. Her worst fears happened and upon advice of the hospital staff, we removed her from the IV as we were told that although breathing on her own she had no real brain function. After 10 days of "tying to kill her" she awoke from her coma and spoke. Now she lives in a nursing home, cannot walk and has use of only one arm. Her brain function is spectacular. I asked her once of she is glad we kept her alive and she said yes. I think the mind adjusts to a new normal as a matter of survival.

    There is a lot of talk about needing a final resting place, and that poor nurse missed out on that. I wonder if the tenants of the rebuilt houses sense a restlessness.

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    1. Consciousness can be very difficult to detect sometimes - especially by 'experts'.

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  4. When V and I cleared out our mother's house after she died, we found multiples of notes, everywhere, in cupboards, drawers, her purse, by her bed...Do Not Resuscitate. On the other hand, I live with a man who says, no matter what, do not pull the plug.
    I watched my dad 'live' through six years of cancer treatments, he was considered a survivor...what a laugh, six years of hell, torment, pain.and fear.
    We all have our ideas of what we want...I have to wonder what I would do in the moment.
    I actually am drawn to your nurses exit...the idea of it being over in a nano-second and yet in some way she's still there.

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    1. I really think that I would not want to prolong, Jacqueline, but - like you say - who knows what we think in the last moments? We all know what the inner chimp thinks, though.

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  5. re the bomb. It must have been infuriating not to have had the opportunity to shout 'Oh Shit'.

    I'm of the 'do not resuscitate' school. I'm just hoping that seriously good pain killers will be around.

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    1. I should have expected all the concentration on aspects of a less violent death - we have all had some experience of that - but this post was really more to do with what it is like to be vapourised without warning.

      There are a lot of Tibetan nuns setting themselves on fire right now in protest to China - what a decision to make. Apparently, pretty much everyone who has done this are later found to have voluntarily died before the flames take hold. There is no sign of burning on the inside of the lungs, meaning that they just died at will, or so it seems.

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  6. My Man did not say that he was ill until he could not hide it. Luckily he had discomfort more than sharp pain.
    When he was in hospital- just eleven days- all he wanted me to do was be with him, listen, answer questions and will him the mental strength to let go when he was ready.

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    1. Men eh? One minute we are pretending we are at death's door when we only have a slight cold, and the next we are pretending we have a slight cold when we are at death's door.

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  7. My husband refused all treatment for his cancer and lasted four months and had a comparatively peaceful death twenty years ago this month. I think those doctors know a thing or two Tom. The trouble is that life is sweet and hope springs eternal. There is no good way to go and if there was we don't have a choice unless we take our own lives. I belong to Dignity in Dying and would also consider Dignitas if necessary. I am all for the law being changed to assist in the process of dying. The trouble is that people are just so reluctant to talk about it - it is almost a tabboo subject.

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    1. I think we probably have more of a responsibility toward others in how we die than we do to ourselves. It's them that have to pick up the pieces, and it's them who have to carry on living, so we should bear that in mind when considering premature termination, don't you think?

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  8. I have a tragic tale of one young man's self-imposed undoing, and yet it seems that once he made the decision to end his life, the hard part was done. It was over in a nanosecond, much like your nurse, only he was in charge of his own bomb. The rest of us who were left behind were indeed the ones who had their own struggles to carry on. It is coming on 4 years since my son died at age 18. I have questioned every possible thing he may have felt in the moments just before death, and I now choose to think it was a sense of peace and resignation that his death was imminent; a speeding train was approaching, and he was along for the ride. I did some reading after his death about suicide and there is a theory that the soul inhabiting that body knows from the outset how and when the death will occur and yet chooses to become animate in that body anyway. When I was really struggling with his death,, this brought me a sense of peace, almost as if that was supposed to happen, and I could not be blamed for his death. Maybe it is so with the nuns. They know their time has come.

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  9. I am sorry Anne, but I have only just found your comment - because I post up so much shite all the time.

    It is almost impossible for anyone to give any meaningful opinions or explanations about why your boy should decide to end his own life, but - if you know me - I'm arrogant enough to put forward a few suggestions. Well, not suggestions, just thoughts.

    It is so difficult to deal with when someone - even an acquaintance - decides to top themself. I cannot imagine what it is like for a mother to go through that.

    The selfish little brat - I bet you have thought that a few times, eh?

    I had a friend who threatened suicide one night, so I stayed with him for as long as it took, then about 2 weeks later, I asked him if he was now ok, and he didn't know what I was talking about, so I pinned him up against a wall and threatened to kill him myself.

    That classic scene, when a child has gone missing, and when it is found, the parents imply that they are going to punish it by inflicting the very thing they feared the most - death. Of course, they didn't mean it!

    Bless you and yours, my dear.

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    1. Thank you, Tom. Your posts are among the bright spots that provide a laugh and provoke thought-- and keep me guessing as to what topic you might possibly illuminate next! I am glad it all turned out okay for your friend. Some endings lead to a fresh start, a new perspective, or at the very least, a new chapter in the story of a life.

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