Saturday 10 December 2011

Come friendly bombs...


Today is the last day of Bath's annual 'Christmas Market', wherein tons of appalling rubbish is sold to coach loads of Welsh women who clog the area around Bath Abbey like arterial fat, and I'm sorry to be so curmudgeonly, but I will not be sorry to see it go.

In theory, I love Christmas markets, but this event is more to do with Bath City Council lining it's already bulging pockets so that they can afford to erect more street cameras and traffic lights in inappropriate places, than it is to do with entering into the spirit of things during the festive season.

The councilor who is in charge of the whole corporate jamboree was on national radio last week, and he responded to the accusation that the market took vital business away from local traders by allowing complete outsiders to sell to complete outsiders - (you have to book these stalls about a year in advance, and the biggest costs around £8000 for two weeks) whilst local traders who pay the council massive rents and rates can only look on in horror - by saying that it did not affect the businesses in the newly built 'Southgate' complex in the slightest. He also said that the market attracts 200 coachers per day whilst it runs. The Southgate complex is so desolate and windswept, that it has been nick-named 'Gotham City' by a few local wags.

This shows how completely out of touch with the wishes of his own townsfolk - who he is supposed to be representing and protecting - he actually is. The Southgate complex was built at huge expense, and the only businesses that can afford to operate there are the very large, national and multi national ones - the ones which Bath City Council are doing their best to keep sweet for the sake of the revenue they generate for the Chamber of Commerce and it's offshoots.

The ancient family departmental store, 'Jolly's' which is right in the middle of what used to be Bath's prime shopping street may not survive another year, because Debenham's have been allowed to move into Southgate, and the first thing you see when you get off a bus or train at Bath Spa Station is the Southgate shopping precinct, and for many people, a 400 yard walk further into the old town is simply not necessary. Debenham's also have an outlet in the little sea port of Weymouth, and you can see that one from about 2 miles away - I have never seen a bigger store anywhere, even in the USA.

I already mentioned that a friend of mine lost his very good restaurant recently because his outgoings were £18,000 per month. It did not matter how many people came to eat his excellent food (the place was always packed) he would never be able to cover costs. Guess who moved in to take his place and sell distinctly mediocre food at inflated prices in an atmosphere stripped of all the original ambience which had taken years to build up? The restaurant chain, 'Cote'.

In a way, my German dentist friend may be lucky. Not only does he live in Bremerhaven, which has been voted Germany's ugliest town (unfair), but a national newspaper - Der Bild - has voted Bremerhaven's Christmas Market the saddest in all Germany.

In Germany, what we call 'German Markets' are called 'European Markets'. Not for much longer, I fear.


17 comments:

  1. This post has been removed by the author.

    Only joking. We have that same abomination here - I'm only in favour of Christmas Markets if they are small, genuine, and the stallholders are selling bona fide items made or produced by themselves. A few wooden ornaments for the tree, a ceramic necklace, and a tiny cake and I'll go home happy.

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  2. Predictably, the stalls that make the most money here are the ones selling alcohol and sausages. It's a shame that they did not have a couple selling drugs, they would do very well, but the sausage vendors might suffer as a result. Every year I try to take a look at it, but find it impossible to linger around any stall for the crushing weight of the dynamic force of Welsh women all pushing from behind. If they pushed from the front, then I would go every day.

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  3. Southern England's attitude towards proper weekly markets baffles me. Here they are ALWAYS held in the centre of town, and the surrounding permanent traders look forward to market day as it brings in the crowds. In S England the markets are usually hidden away, where wide-boys sell dodgy vegs, with the bad bits cut off. Bizarre.

    I did once go to a German Christmas market in Edinburgh. I couldn't understand why there was such frenzy to buy things that normally they wouldn't touch with a proverbial.

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  4. This taking over of our town centres infuriates me Tom. Luckily our little market town is too small to attract the giants - but Tesco is near enough to tempt for big shops. This means that there are empty shops or charity shops where there should be local traders. The way things are going sadly.

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  5. You do make my day sometimes Tom. The idea of the "crushing weight and dynamic force of Welsh women" being more acceptable if "pushed from the front" made me laugh out loud this morning.

    Thankfully, the majority of our Christmas markets or 'Fairs' over here have remained relatively small, homemade, and charming. But to offset that charm, we still have Walmart, Home Depot and other dastardly type franchise stores forever attempting to purchase all available greenspace and construct giant boxes from which to sell cheap items predominantly made in China.

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  7. I heard you the first time, Camille!

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  8. Sorry Tom. I honestly didn't mean to post twice. Would love to remove it but don't see the wee little trash can or icon to do so.

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  9. I'm with you on the desecration of big or small towns/cities by global financial interests. Aided by the pathetic response of local councils and planning departments with their short-term decisions and appalling lack of concern for both the heritage that has supplied this 'value' as well as the legacy for the future vibrant livelihood of the community. The stink of T.Dan Smith/Poulson style corruption. How quickly 'we' forget.

    I'm currently involved in fighting a planning application which although very admirable in providing more city centre (though unavoidably expensive) housing, absolutely absolves the entrepreneurs from any responsibility for increasing the very limited demands for on-street parking which is already over-subscribed.

    And you've terrified me about Jolly's. I thought it was now House of Fraser owned? HoF is the upmarket equivalent of Debenhams. So some hope there. Usually HoF rename their stores - even the much loved Army and Navy Stores in Victoria Street London, is now just plain HoF. Rejoice in Jollys!

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  10. I forgot to add that FFS Bath is not Slough despite the rubbish Christmas market. Though I despise the financial situation that caused your friend to move out and Cote to move in. Cote recently moved into Salisbury and the rejoicing could be heard from the cathedral to stonehenge. That's because the locals only like mediocre and every single decent restaurant that tried to set up here for the last 30 years has failed miserably. As an example of local standards, some 15 years ago The Times restaurant reviewer could only find a Pizza Express worth visiting. He awarded it 1/10. Believe me nothing has changed.

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  11. Yes, Elegance, Jolly's is House of Frazer. Who mentioned Slough? (which used to be named 'Slow' before the advent of horseless carriages - see John Aubrey's Natural History of Wiltshire).

    The notion that Cote was welcomed in Salisbury does not surprise me, I'm sorry to say. The last thing I ate in Salisbury was a baked potato (I think), and they managed to fuck that up too.

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  12. P.S. I used to have tea (served by Helen Mirren - true, despite her denials) with Mrs Jolly in 'Parsen Salley' all those years ago when Roddy Llewelyn was shagging Princess Margaret.

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  13. Slough - I thought you alluded to it? "Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough it isn't fit for people now", by that good old degenerate John Betjeman.

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  14. I once passed Helen Mirren in the Battersea Asda. I only looked up because she was staring at me. I stared back and it was only after she passed that I realised who she was. This was a while before her fame in The Queen etc. I have since wondered who she thought I was. Curiously I have several times been propositioned by ladies of a certain persuasion who mentioned their devotion to La Mirren...

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  15. More importantly, what the hell were you doing in the Battersea Asda, trawling for a bit of carpet, Elegance? I am surprised and shocked.

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  16. I've shocked myself. Had to Google the carpet reference. But I lived in Battersea in them days, with Mr EM who tried to keep me in check despite a similar event in law school. Thankfully I can now stick to knitting. ( Hoping that is not a sexual allusion.)

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  17. At least you can now give an educated opinion on the subject, Elegance.

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