The greatest book ever written

Yesterday, we got back from far away Bradford on Avon (about 12 miles) having spent the night in the hotel in the left of this picture and eating in the restaurant to it's immediate right - and no, I didn't lose my way home after the meal.

'The Three Gables' (one gable is out of shot in this picture) is set to become one of the best places to eat in the West Country, if it isn't already, and was started in July by the head chef of 'The Priory' near Bath. I hate reviews on blogs, mainly because most people who make them are simply (like theatre critics) not qualified to write them, so just take it from me - as one who hardly ever frequents top-class joints though meanness - that it is bloody good, and for what it is worth, I can say it was one of the best meals I have had out in years. The only reason we made the trip to it is because we were the lucky winners of a charity draw which took place about a month before it opened, so don't get the wrong idea about the state of my finances.

I Googled up a hotel to stay in Bradford (rather than drink-drive home, not drink-drive home or take the last train to Bath at 11.30 pm) and all were fully booked but the Georgian Lodge, which - to my surprise and delight - is welded onto the side of the Three Gables. Our car park was 20 feet away on the other side of the road, so the burning-off of calories in any direction of the journey was minimal.

A few years ago, all the issues of the local papers had pictures of a drunk man walking along the parapet of the Georgian Lodge waving a flag and chatting at all the passers-by, police and firemen who were gathered below, waiting for him to fall off and kill himself. He did fall off, and to everyone's amazement, survived the fall with nothing more then a broken leg or two. I can vouch for this, because I met him much later in a pub in Bath, and I didn't notice so much as a limp.

The hotel has the most amazing, barley-twist turned wood banisters on it's staircase and wonderful period stone windows, but the interior has been all but destroyed by being partitioned off to form as many cramped rooms as possible. Currently, they are employing an extremely mediocre builder (now this is something I am qualified to comment on) who is being allowed to destroy even more of the interior. I think it was he who 'fitted' the tropical hardwood door to our room, forgetting to put a handle on the outside.

Leaning up against the left-hand side of the Georgian Lodge, is the famous 'Victorian Tea-Rooms', which makes Gringold's Bank look stable by comparison. All the waitresses who work there wear 'Victorian' costume, which includes little white bonnets and puffy sleeves.

On the board outside, they invite you into the early 17th century building with a 'Georgian' interior (!), to sample life in 'Victorian' times whilst eating tea, cakes and sandwiches. I just cannot fathom why - having about 400 years of history staring them in the face - the owners settled on the Victorian period in which to theme their cafe, but it takes all sorts, I suppose.

Bradford has a very good bookshop, and imagine my excitement when I stumbled across 'The Greatest Book Ever Written'. I thought that - with an immodest title like that - it would be worth three quid of anyone's money, but sadly Mr Gursler was referring to the Old Testament, so it went back on the shelf. I'll just have to keep looking.