Saturday, 6 August 2011

Cross? No, just mildly irritated

A few years ago, I heard a jeweler tell a story about an elderly lady who came into his shop, looking to buy a silver crucifix.

He asked her if she wanted a plain 'cross' or a 'crucifix' (which is what the one above is) and, not knowing the difference, she said "I want one with a little man on it."

Somehow, her response sort of sums up almost everyone's attitude to the image of Christ crucified - it certainly sums up mine. All of us who were brought up as non-practicing Christians in the 1950s would fill out the appropriate section of government forms with: 'C. of E.' when compelled to describe our religion, and most of the schools that we were sent to were governed by Church of England ministers. Catholic schools were exotic, exclusive and mysterious places run by elderly Brothers or mad nuns. I say this because - for some reason - both of my sisters were sent to a Convent for a brief period (I don't know what they had done to deserve it), but were pulled out when they came home one day, covered in bruises from being beaten by the nuns with broomsticks.

No matter how hard I stare at the image of a crucifix, somehow the message just does not get through to me. All I see is 'a little man' nailed to a cross. The image of the crucifixion has simply become part of the furniture of every day life now, but not so much part of the furniture that I would actually want to buy this piece of furniture for our compact but adorable city apartment.


  1. Covering the walls of the offices at Sotherby's, were amusing letters written by prospective clients. I once saw one that said 'I have a crucifixion picture I wish to sell, I don't know who it's by, but his initials are INRI'.

  2. I think you are either into this kind of thing - ie a believer - or you are not, Tom - the choice is an individual one. I am not but I can't say it bothers me if others are.

  3. It has, it seems, become more and more fashionable to turn away from the church, Christ, and the implied moral values that religion has tried (in vain or just plain badly) to instill in society.

    Now that people are becoming more and more secular (aggressively so in our case) what is there to take religion's place and the good values it has?

    No wonder no one gives a flying fuck about anyone else anymore. Just gotta get the latest 100 inch wide screen plasma tele or kill the bastard that has just cut you up on the motorway.

    I don't ram religion or my beliefs down other peoples neck, that's up to them. I feel God in my life, but I'm still an arsehole.

  4. ... and you appreciate a good pair of tits, Chris (like me and John).

    Don't get me wrong - I believe in anything, especially the mercy/wrath of God. I just don't believe anything that comes from the mouths of 'religious' people. I have already got myself into trouble for saying this, but I really do think it is impossible NOT to believe in God, whether you admit to it or not.

  5. Quite true Tom. EVERYONE believes in God at least once. Possibly 5 seconds before they snuff it but at least once.

    God made tits and ass, Tom. Would be a shame not to enjoy God's work...

  6. tom...I hope cros's name is john and you were not counting me in to all this breast loving!

    as for crosses
    I love the nun "show him you're cross joke"
    fuck off

  7. Bloody hell, that could kill you if it fell on ya! S x

  8. You may (and have) opt out of the tits bit, John - all the more for us (in my dreams...) What I meant was you and me are a pair of tits... oh, never mind, you're tired.