Friday, 29 July 2011

Super Soaker

I have been having to drive through a little hamlet just north of my workshop in Wiltshire every day, to collect H.I. from her Summer School which comes to an end today.

The day before yesterday, I was just leaving the hamlet, when I received a colossal blast of water through the open window of the car which filled up my right ear and actually extinguished the cigarette which was in my mouth at the time.

It took me a second to realise what had happened, during which time I hit the brakes, thinking something serious had occurred. I slowly reversed back to the scene of the crime, where I found two angelic-looking, blonde children - a boy and a girl - standing the other side of the fence with a huge plastic water-rifle.

The little girl immediately said, "Sorry, we were a bit bored and just having a prank. Sorry!

I started laughing, and said it was ok - so long as it was just water, and the boy said, "Oh no, we didn't put any lemonade in it!" which made me think that they had done just that in the past, and I had got away refreshingly lightly.

When I was a kid, water pistols were weedy affairs which more or less dribbled after the first squirt, but these days, they are lethal up to about 100 yards, let alone the 8 feet distance at which I was shot.

Also in my day, kids were less likely to put ammonia in them and carry out raids on post-offices...


  1. We have some of these in the pool. The best thing about them is that they fall to pieces after 10 minutes use.

  2. Maybe you could get one like that, on a tripod, and mount it on the roof of the Volvo, spraying the kids with...

    Like downtown Basra in Bath.

  3. I would have paid good money to witness the attack!

  4. I like Chris's idea. Go on - dare you!

  5. It must be a bit of a craze at the moment as exactly the same thing happened to us about a fortnight ago except that - luckily- we had the windows of the car closed. It didn't half make us jump though.

  6. You took that well Tom. My husband would have blown his top off. Kids will be kids, but an accident could have happened.

  7. Bored? I doubt that very much. Anyone who has a water gun that massive wants to use it.

  8. Ah you, water pistols in my day were lame affairs. Our naughty shenanigans on a hot summer day involved climbing trees and using pea shooters on unsuspecting pedestrians who would be passing by down below. (Pea Shooters required very fat straws, hard dried peas, and good lung capacity) Did you have such things over in the UK? We were frequently dragged out of the foliage and escorted home by the local cop. Kids!

  9. Yes - I loved my peashooters, and had a few metal ones with genuine dried peas. Next year, some of the dropped peas would actually sprout, which was an added bonus.

    Yes Chris, I like that idea too - a 'water technical'! Sadly, the police and army have already thought of it and their pressure is about 500 PSI.

    I have always maintained that if anyone owns a gun and leaves it around the house, some day they will - without doubt - feel they have to pull the trigger, intruder or not.

    I think it is best to let people pull the triggers in a controlled way, which is why all the guns I have are legal and I belong to a club which allows you to pull the trigger as much as you want on a sunday afternoon.

    Let's hope they don't ban water-pistols too.

    How much money would you pay to witness it John? For the right amount, I will stage it again, and give the kids sixpence each.