Following on - in a strange sort of way - from the previous post, I heard this morning that there are committees set up in the current British administration whose sole job it is to measure and assess levels of 'happiness' amongst the population.
Various criteria are employed aside from the scientifically measurable ones like financial well-being, and these include variables such as 'days of sunshine', etc. which do not - as yet - fall into a taxable bracket.
I imagine that any fool can accurately assess whether or not someone is unhappy, not least because that person will usually tell you about it by volunteering the information without prompting - in fact it's usually impossible to stop them in my experience.
So I sat there drinking my coffee at about 7.45 am, trying to pin down what - in my life - makes me happy. You should try it some time, it's not as easy as it sounds.
I came to a conclusion (albeit an rather vague one) that tangible 'happiness' is entirely dependent on social conditions, by which I mean other people. If you were to find yourself stranded alone on a desert island, then you would have days when you were (having accepted your predicament) joyfully happy, but this happiness would surely be an abstract emotion, unconnected to any particular event - rather like when you wake up sobbing for no reason at all. Somehow our brains need to run through various stages of highs and lows, and if there is no external trigger that causes them, why, they just carry on anyway.
The satisfaction with material objects (in my case, antique glass and candlesticks...) is not happiness at all - just the reverse. It is a form of mental illness and a substitute for the 'here and now' which we find the most unpalatable on certain (most) days. Abstract happiness can drive you to abstraction, like the chronic depressive in whom the first signs of an oncoming attack is euphoria.
I'll tell you what makes me the most happy - although not without fear - it is my loved ones; the other people in my life. To know you are loved is the greatest solace for us sociable creatures, which is why everyone watches 'It's a Wonderful Life' in tears every Christmas. I know it's a cheesy thing to say (again) but it's true, isn't it?
I saw a quotation printed on something the other day, and it said "The only way to make friends is to be one".
And on a blog I follow is written 'Love is the only thing you get more of, by giving it away'. Same sentiment; different words.
ReplyDeleteI must be getting soppy.
I love how your posts are different from morning or night. Its like two different blogs.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
Tom, Blogtopia is getting to you and you're losing your acerbity. But you're right: happiness is other people just as hell is the wrong other people, and we're never more alive than in the interaction between us.
ReplyDeleteFran Liebowitz believes that happiness is a sensation not a condition. Can't say I disagree.
ReplyDeleteI do agree with you too Tom...my moments of happiness come from the people in my life.
well written that man....
ReplyDeleteyes...... I agree a little with mise....however I sort of like this "Rebecca of Sunnybrookfarm" persona that has reared its smiling head today....
as for happiness......I dont think we are programmed to be "happy" I prefer to view happiness as being a general state of being content...happiness is a fleeting emotion I always think....contentedness is more robust...
but you are right when you say being loved is a big part of feeling good....but I must add that loving someone or something ELSE is more vital to mental well being than ANYTHING I can think of....it's the chink in the armor that makes us human
Great post. I'm a total pollyanna, with occasional bouts of melancholy. Every day is beautiful, I love my kids and I love to create. But I've had deep unhappiness due to someone who basically hates everything. I don't understand people like this. It's wearing me down. But I can't talk about it really, just thought I'd say how much I agree with your sentiment. The world needs more of it.
ReplyDeleteThe last quotation says it all Tom - my friends and my family are everything to me and that is what makes me totally content - maybe not the same as euphoric happiness - that I achieve sometimes but the overall contentment is probably more important. Also, I am never unhappy. So maybe it all hangs on the interpretation of the word.
ReplyDeleteWhisky and chocolate makes me very happy.
ReplyDeleteEvening posts and morning posts are interchangeable with me, Grouch, so that just proves that I don't drink alcohol in the morning, right? So far, so good.
ReplyDeleteAnother aphorism which seems to be true and relates to some of your comments, is the one about 'the more energy you expend, the more you have'. This I find to be usually the case, until it comes to Onanism.
Group hug anyone? (or would you rather hug a Grouper, Sarah T?)
P.S. Me and Her Indoors often (like about 50 million other people) like to see ourselves represented by the Sheppard drawing above. (She is the little runty one looking admiringly up at me, btw).
ReplyDeleteSo it's just a matter of drink or no drink? Phew. I thought we were dealing with a split personality here.
ReplyDeleteI am with Amy....mostly always happy but when someone is down and out around me it can drag me down as well. Some folks just seem to be able to siphon off all your energy and enthusiasm and sense of fun.
Who amongst you reading these blogs sees any disparity between those written in the morning and those written in the evening? And what the FUCK has a sense of 'fun' got to do with it? Have you run down any pedestrians in your car recently, mybabyjohn? Did you sue them for getting in your way?
ReplyDeleteSee....it is evening and your tongue is sharper. Jekyll and Hyde. It is what makes you charming, fun, and happy (you old coot).
ReplyDeleteOh,
ReplyDeletePS. xoxoxoxox
I don't get enough drive time for target practice these days Tom....I'm just happy to see those careless pedestrians being charged under the highway traffic act. And fun has everything to do with anything.
ReplyDeleteAgree...what makes me happy too is "my loved ones, the other people in my life,...to know you are loved". Yes!...that... and whiskey...and chocolate...and group hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteAh, but don't you think this post would more likely be written after a few drinks, Groucho? (with a slurred and emotional voice?) I'm more likely to be aggressive in the mornings.
ReplyDeleteYup, definitely a Jekyll and Hyde tendency here. (I always get the two confused. That's probably why I get into so much trouble...)
ReplyDeleteGet a grip, Bloggers.
ReplyDeleteI'm desperately trying to work out if your comment is a message of support, or an incitement to murder, Cher. (Oh and btw - Mr Hyde was the boisterous one)
ReplyDeleteI also recently read the quote 'kama's only a bitch if you are'.
ReplyDeleteLove that :)
How is Kama? I haven't seen her for years.
ReplyDelete