Have you ever been in the distressing situation of having to refuse an invitation to a ball, simply because you lacked the ability to 'RSVP' to the Duchess of Windsor in the correct manner? Have you lost money because you were unable to send a good threatening letter to your tenant demanding payment of overdue rent? Are you curious as to the letter-writing skills of HIM Queen Victoria?
Well then, this 1912 edition of 'How To Write A Good Letter' is for you.
It was printed and published by Foyles, the famous London booksellers, and contains everything you need to know on the subject - especially if you use pen and ink. Originally costing sixpence, this fabulous prize could be yours to love and cherish, and - as the frontispiece tells us - "A good letter has laid the foundations of many a man's prosperity."
All you have to do is write me a good letter in the comments box below, and I will decide on the winner once the entries seem to have dried up. Special consideration will be given to love-letters (but only ones from the opposite sex, addressed to me). Male entrants will have to suffice with simple flattery, and any hint of homo-eroticism will ensure immediate disqualification.
Get writing, and it could be yours!
I think everone is still in shock from the last time.
ReplyDeleteI'm such a tart.
ReplyDeleteIf you just put "Dear Tom," on the top of your comment Amy, you will be in the lead so far...
ReplyDeleteI'd have to erase then write a whole new post to do that. And then while I'm doing that, evil alternate Amy might show up pretending to be me, saying really terrible things just to impress you. I can't let her win!
ReplyDeleteI think your household would be a winner if you let your cute daughter write it - there's an idea!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo has this one.
ReplyDeleteOminous blog happenigs all with one dissappearing post. Looks so incriminating.
ReplyDeleteWell, if nothing else, this post has produced some of the most cryptic comments I have ever had. I think you all ought to share the book.
ReplyDeleteI saw the other entry and wanted to write something, but couldn't seem to get any time on the computer here this last evening-- it's midnight right now.
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches to think of you going through that as a child. It oviously affected you very deeply, and I am saddened to think just how much.
Take care today. My heart will be with you, dear friend.
I took it off last night, Amy. Far too depressing for a light-hearted blog like this! I broke my own rule about humour. Anyway, I'm far too old to blame my parents for anything now. It sounded as if I had a shit childhood - I didn't. Thanks for your thoughts. I might take this post down tonight too, I don't think anyone is going to play my little game.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it was good for you to write your memories out regardless of whether or not it stayed or who read it. No harm done, all good things remain.
ReplyDeleteDear Mr Tom,
ReplyDeleteI read the first comment left for you and thought yes, the Devils toe nail was a bit much, as I read on though I suspect I missed something, a deleted post of some such, before I began following.
Now as for a love letter, I don't know, we hardly know each other and I'm not sure if I love you yet or not. But I can play so I'll say that my heart pines for you Tom, my every waking moment is spent longing to be in your arms again, to hear your voice, I dream only of you........blah blah.
Yes you may well be shocked to know I haven't written any love letters before! I've no ideas above my station about winning said book but I just wanted the opportunity to end my letter with,
Goodbye Mr Chips
Damn wrong one sorry...
Goodnight Mr Tom
Sarah xxx
Dear Sarah,
ReplyDeleteYour charming letter to me has put you in the lead for the prize, and also means that I will keep this post running for a while, just for the sake of decorum. I was going to close it just now. I don't care if you didn't mean a word of it. I am now also following your blog, as - under the circumstances - it would be rude not to.
Is the charming girl photographed in it your daughter? If so, and you bear any resemblance to her, then I'm sure, in time (a very short period of time), I could find it in my heart to reciprocate your undying and totally make-believe love for me.
Your most obedient servant,
T.J. Stephenson.
Hello Mr Tom, do you mind if I call you Mr Tom? I feel we've come to far now what with the love letter and all to be calling you T.J Stephenson, though obedient servant does have a certain ring to it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the 'follow' and the comments, doesn't matter where they go amongst the sea of pictures, I read them on my email anyway.
It is with much regret that I must inform you, I look nothing like Ned! She's a sweetheart, pretty, funny, clever, creative and kind, all of which fills me with irritation, no sorry I mean pride!
Sarah xxx
I know what you mean about the irritation thing, as I mentioned on your blog - My girl fills me with pride too, despite her occasional off-rail activities (see post on mephadrone...). I'm just glad I didn't have to bring her up! Almost all of them grow up into wonderful caring people, though (but I'd rather die in a bed-sit).
ReplyDeleteYou can drop the title (Lord), just call me Tom. It's not my name anyway, so no harm done.
Dear Mr Tom Stephenson.
ReplyDeleteI note that you are not registered with the 'Prizes, Rewards, and Compensation Board'.
Section 4 (para 2) of our regulations clearly states that any 'Prize' above the value of threepence must.......
Your mostly obedient, and very very humble servant, Stephen Tomson.
It's registered in an off-shore account.
ReplyDeleteOK, Sarah - you win. Send me your postal address, and I'll post the fabulous prize as soon as I get it (the address). You will*/will not* be disappointed (delete when appropriate.
ReplyDeletetjstephenson@talktalk.net
Cro was automatically disqualified for making me worry about finances, not coming on all gay. Better luck next tine, batty-boiy!
I will post it Sarah - so long as I know where to!
ReplyDeleteDear Tom, I think I am too late..Ms M. Luxe
ReplyDeleteYou might not be, Maiden. Sarah does not seem willing to give me her postal address so I can send it - maybe she thinks I will stalk her and her daughter, but I assure you not!
ReplyDeleteIf she doesn't claim it soon, Maiden, you can have it. I'll give her a few more days. Watch this space.
I will wait in anticipation!!
ReplyDeleteYes - then I'll fly down to Oz and stalk you!
ReplyDeleteThats ok, just bring a replica of that lovely shell stone bowl with you..
ReplyDeleteThat may put an unacceptable premium on my baggage allowance, Maiden. OK - Sarah has had enough time to send her address, so you can have it Mrs Maiden. Send me your postal address (tjstephenson@talktalk.net), and I'll see if it gets to you before Christmas.
ReplyDeletevery exciting thanks Tom! Ill email you tomorrow..
ReplyDeleteMaiden should have the booklet shortly - let's hope we get a good letter afterwards
ReplyDelete