The tough-talking, no-nonsense, former Chief of Staff of the British Army, General Sir Mike Jackson, used to be know as General Sir Michael Jackson, but - in order to avoid confusion between himself and the now deceased pop idol, Michael Jackson - changed his first name to 'Mike'.
As he explained himself, in his unmistakably feminine, falsetto voice:
"I'm a fighter, not a lover." *
* He made this joint statement in reaction to MOD reports that an increasing number of women were becoming suicide bombers in Iraq and elsewhere. The press release was entitled, 'The Girl is Mined'
ReplyDeleteWhat a face!
ReplyDeleteI think that one acquires a face like that after a lifetime spent equally between war-zones and regimental banquets.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, what I want from you and others, Cro, is as many poor jokes on the above subject as possible. The possibilities are endless, and the opportunity is already set up for you. It is my hope that some of them will eventually make it to the Port and cigars section of some of those banquets, so keep 'em coming.
P.S. - I look a bit like him, but only round the eyes. I've done the banquets, but not the war-zones.
ReplyDeleteI was at school with a chap who's brother, Mike Hunt, was a weatherman on Anglia TV. He too was encouraged to change his name. For some reason he chose 'Michael'.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, just to be on the safe side he has now resorted to wearing black army warpaint at all times.
ReplyDeleteYes Johnny - the cheapskate. If ever there was a genuine need for cosmetic surgery, then the General's matching eye-bags have it.
ReplyDeleteI would go down that route, but I do not have the right degree of shell-shock (or whatever they call it these days) to qualify for an NHS job, or so they tell me.
I've just remembered what they call it - 'Post Traumatic Stress Disorder'.
ReplyDeleteWell, if they could see me fumbling for the coffee-pot and cigarettes first thing in the morning, they might reconsider my status. It's Hell, I tell you.
I've just remembered, re your friend, Cro - I used to know someone called Jonathan Brooks, who was a news reader for Iranian TV before the revolution, when Brits were fashionable in Tehran.
ReplyDeleteHe had to change his name slightly, because - apparently - when spoken phonetically, it means 'Go far, run away c***' in the language!
I've heard of car names having similar problems. Frankly I think they should be left alone. Wasn't it more fun chewing 'Nickers' than the more PC version 'Snickers'?
ReplyDeleteYou tell me, Cro.
ReplyDelete