Friday, 29 January 2010

Fat Butt

A half-smoked cigar, hastily stubbed out by Winston Churchill as he left his office for an urgent meeting, and saved by members of his staff at the time, has been sold at auction today for over £4000.

I have - on hearing this breaking news - instructed and advised the staff of my office, in an urgent memorandum, to destroy all but 1 of 200 of the cigarette-ends that I discard on a daily basis, and I have reduced their pension benefits accordingly, reflecting the potential value of their speculative investments.

It is in times such as these, that we must tighten our belts and look to the future, when considering the straitened circumstances that we all (puff puff) must face at sometime or another in our lives, regardless of our social status, or the privileges afforded by elevated positions within that structure.



  1. Actually, this whole post is just an excuse to give a good, British V's up to the rest of the world.

  2. The good-old-fashioned V sign is now rather redundant. A shame; it had vigour. Nowadays people just shout obscenities, even when ordering a cup of tea.

  3. True, Cro. Let's hope it makes a come-back, it's so much more genteel than the American single finger. I believe the story which says it was specifically designed for use against the French. For non-British readers, I'll explain:

    During the Hundred Year War between France and England, any English long-bow archer captured by the French would have the two fingers cut off to prevent him from using a bow ever again. Before the commencement of battle, the rows of English archers would raise their two fingers, to show the French that they were still capable of chucking arrows at them.