Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Sunday, 5 March 2017
Learning to love innept Nigerian criminals
I opened my semi-defunct email account just now, and was rewarded with a good laugh.
I have received a very lengthy email from a Nigerian chap, advising me that the Arab Bank of Nigeria is holding $10 million U.S. for me which can only be released by paying the paltry sum of $85, after which a man called Jackson Henry will issue me with an ATM card with which I can withdraw the $10,000,000 from any ATM machine in the world. I have to be quick though, because the bank isn't going to hang onto the money for very long.
I can foresee that the next few years are going to be spent travelling the world trying to find enough ATM machines to milk dry before the bank does something else with the money. Other people who have benefited from this unknown benefactor's generosity include a woman called, Linda Knickerbocker. I would copy the email here, but it is about 3 pages long and very repetetive.
I heard a Nigerian woman talk about her beloved Lagos recently, and she said how all the rogues and scallywags are adored by the rest of the non-criminal population, mainly because they are larger than life characters who are always laughing. On the rare occasions that someone falls for an unbelievable scam, they celebrate by going around their neighbourhoods like African Robin Hoods, spreading their new-found wealth downwards by buying things for their friends and neighbours.
Apparently their attitude toward money is very similar to my own, in that if they have it they have it, and they show little respect for it by blowing it all in one spree. Like me, they do not seem to make any serious fiscal plans, but live in the moment.
I genuinely believe that this latest email was sent to me purely in order to make me laugh, and for that I am very grateful to the jolly Nigerians. Thank you. You have made my day.