Today, I tell a couple of jokes told to me by a young woman who I have known since birth (hers, not mine).
1: I saw her a day or so ago, and she told me that she had got a new job in a helium factory, filling party balloons. She walked out on the first day though, and said, "I'm not being spoken to like that".
2: What did the bra say to the hat?
"You go on ahead and I'll give these two a lift".
After yesterday's photo, I can tell you that half-famous local artist has just painted a portrait of me which I haven't yet seen (this isn't a joke, or at least I don't think it is). The painting was promised to another friend of mine, but he went back on the deal and sold it to someone else.
Well, I say portrait, but in reality it is of me, standing outside the pub, smoking a cigarette, and the pub tends to dominate the picture. The artist walks past the pub all the time, and seems to see me there every time he does.
I will show you it at some point, but I want to see it myself before that.
F..K OFF! - Now I am not all Julie Andrews when it comes down to a good swear, but I do think that there is a time and a place for expletives to be unleashed! The odd...
1 hour ago