Tuesday 19 September 2017

What I did on my holiday, part one


Studland Bay, on the Jurassic Coast of Dorset. I did try to download a piddling little video clip of the bay itself, but apparently it exceeded my allowance of 100 MB.

Our hotel in Corfe Castle was just above the charming Swanage Railway, and the toot from the steam train stopping there on its way to Swanage was enough to tempt us to take a 10 minute trip to the horrid little seaside resort, just for the journey back in time.

Well it was a journey back in time, but only as far back as 1970, because their steam train had broken down. We paid £25 for a return trip from Corfe, and was then told that a diesel was taking the place of the stricken steam train.

At two minutes past twelve, it spluttered and clattered its way into the station (which was all rigged up with British Rail memorabilia) towing carriages which had not had a refit since the 1960s, and we got on and sat down at the first example of the experiment with fixed tables on trains. Luckily, the huge party of Christian ukelele players were at the far end of the disconnected carriages, so we did not have to suffer them.

When the train pulled off, the thick black smoke coming from the ancient diesel wafted past the windows, reminding us of the golden age of steam locomotives, except that it did not smell of coal.

Swanage is so ghastly that we ran to catch the next return to Corfe, and almost missed it by 2 seconds. Someone flagged it down as it was about to leave, and we spluttered our way back to the Castle.

Studland Bay - it transpired - was the scene for the rehearsal of the D-Day landings. This was a manoeuvre so secret that I have only just heard about it. Poole Harbour is the second biggest in the world, the first being Sydney. I have only just discovered that too.

At the foot of the wonderful Pig hotel and restaurant, there is a massive concrete bunker on the edge of the cliff. This was built for King Edward the Sixth, Winston Churchill, Fieldmarshal Montgomery and Dwight Eisenhower to observe the WW2 rehearsal from.

Winston Churchill stayed at The Pig, formerly the home of the local MP who owned the whole peninsular - a man called Bankes. Any relation, Cro? Thanks to him, you are allowed to smoke cigars indoors - something unheard of in any other public place.

I want to stay at The Pig next time, but it is fully booked until November and impossible for Christmas, even if we could afford it.

38 comments:

  1. Did you get to walk bare foot on the sand like you wanted to?

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    1. Seaside holidays in tHE UK seem to be on the up!

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    2. To reply to Rachel before John shoved his arse into the picture, no, I didn't.

      To respond to John's arse, yes tHEY ARE.

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    3. I was just going to say that. I came especially to say it but John has beaten me to it.

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    4. Dang.....I was being sarcastic so you had better say it again

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    5. I thought you were being a bit nice.

      Anyway, TS, I want to hear a bit about when you saw Shawn.

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    6. I am wondering why you both cannot just amuse each other with reviews about films which nobody wants to hear about, let alone spend money and time watching. As far as prurient interest in me meeting old girlfriends, you would be better off making those reviews as well.

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    7. Oh, ok. I will tell you about meeting Shawn - at some point!

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    8. P.S., John. I had a dream about you when I was in Corfe. I was at a party and you were a callow youth in shorts with prematurely hairy legs. At first we didn't realise who each other were, but then we did and you suddenly aged into a Northern comedian with pursed lips. I am sure you have - or will be - both in your time.

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    9. That I said strange as I used to wear tennis shorts when I was 18 and I had ( and still have) very hairy legs.....
      When I was 18 I would not gave recognised an aging John Hurt

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    10. Ps film reviews...don't want to read them? Don't read them! It's not rocket science

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    11. Why didn't you walk bare foot in the sand. I thought you went to a beach?

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    12. Re film reviews - I don't read them. That's not rocket science either.

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    13. I skip through the dog-shit sagas too. Even less rocket-science involved with those.

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    14. Fucking hell. Sometimes I think you are even more self absorbed than I am, and that's saying something.

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  2. I too have visited Swanage. It made such an impression that I remember absolutely nothing about it.

    No, no relation sadly.

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    1. Damn. It's good that you don't remember Swanage, but it's bad that you don't own it.

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  3. Trip Advisor advises that there are 37 things to do in Swanage, but one of them is Visit Tourist Information Center, and Visit Studland Beach is listed three separate times, and Number 29 on the list is "Other". I have a feeling that the 38th thing to do in Swanage is: Leave as soon as possible.

    I'm glad you got your get away. The Jurassic Coast sounds magnificent. I would love to take a train that had 1960s furnishings intact (I'm thinking of that train scene in AHard Day's Night).

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    1. I did one to three. I was thinking of the train scene in Brief Encounter, but ended up with something else.

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  4. If only you'd been a fortnight earlier you could have run The Beast with me. It started close to Corfe castle.

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    1. It's run on legs.

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    2. Oh yes, I forgot you were keen on running. I thought you were talking about the much more interesting subject of al fresco sex.

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    3. That depends on your perspective. It was pouring with rain and the trails were rock and mud. I can think of better places.

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  5. Wondered how your trip was going. The train ride made me laugh.

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    1. We can laugh in retrospect. J.P. Donleavy has just died, and he said that writing was turning miserable experiences into money. What luxury.

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    2. Yes, it would be like those school races where two people have one leg tied together.

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  6. Every fall a steam engine runs through our valley, enthralling people. It is loud and wonderful and smells like a real steam train.

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  7. Oh Tom - not have to suffer the ukulele players - how could you when you know I play!!!

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    1. Exactly. You are about 200 miles away from me, so I can afford to encourage you Weave.

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  8. So...Swanage...what's that all about then? I don't think I have ever been..what on earth is so awful about it? You sound as if you have enjoyed a lovely little break Tom.

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    1. See Swanage and Die, as the old poster said about Naples.

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