Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Saturday, 25 March 2017
God is still having a laugh at my expense
I really don't know why this sort of thing always seems to happen to me.
I am not going to claim for loss of earnings by spending three days in Bristol Crown Court, mainly because my work does not run seamlessly from one day to the other (you can say that again) but also because I charge about as much for one hour as they are willing to pay me for one day.
I wasn't even going to submit a claim for the train fares, because it only amounts to £32.30 having been sent home early, but H.I. said I should, so I had a look at the claims form.
They want proof of payment of course, so I collated all the receipts. The first (one-way) ticket was bought online was £7.60 and collected from the machine at the station. I bought the return ticket the day of my return and it was £7.50. Not only is it almost twice as expensive to by two tickets and not a return, but it is also 10p more if you buy it online. Why?
When I bought my return ticket, I bought a set of return tickets for the following day at £8.60. Wednesday's tickets were bought that morning and were £8.60.
I shuffled the receipts into calendar order starting on the 20th. The 21st was ok so I looked for the receipts for the 22nd, making a full set. Because the barrier at Bath gobbles your ticket as it lets you out, the only thing I had with the date 22nd on it was the coupon. I looked at the bit which should have said '£8.60' and it read, 'Value: £51.35'.
Oh hell, I thought, they have charged £51.35p to my card for an £8.60 ticket. So I went online to my acount to see what they had charged, and there were no transactions for the 22nd save for a restaurant bill in the 'pending' section.
So I could - theoretically - claim for £51.35 using the coupon for evidence or - more believably - claim for the £8.60 it should have cost me, but didn't. Either action could end up with me back in the Crown Court, but this time in the dock on a fraud charge.
Do you know, I think I will just count my blessings and forget about claiming any travel expenses at all.