Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Wednesday, 25 November 2015
And did those feet?
The normally highly political bit of news program on R4's lunchtime slot, yesterday ran quite a long live bit from Glastonbury discussing whether or not King Arthur was buried there since when it used to be called Avalon.
I thought that everyone knew that this story was made up by 13th century monks in order to attract tourists, but it seems that Reuters forgot to tell the BBC. It's not as if they are short of news right now.
I always get a thrill whenever I stand in the same spot as some bygone celebrity - a bit like putting your hands in the imprints outside the Chinese Theatre in L.A. (Is that what it is called? Is that where they are?).
Every time I take the train to London, I find myself imagining all the celebs and royalty which the very same rails which are taking my weight (not much, but every little adds up) have taken their weight too in the past. Well, I'm going to have to start all over again, because they have just replaced all the rails between Bath and Paddington in preparation for electrification.
When I was paid a great lump of cash by Gary Lineker, I brought out some of the £20 notes in the pub, and a keen football supporter asked to handle them. At first, I was a bit worried he would not give them back, but he assured me he only wanted to touch them.
Right up until our own beloved Queen, the poor and ignorant believed that the royal touch would cure all manner of disease, and one day a year was set aside for the monarch to pass amongst them to give them a fumble. Elizabeth (2nd) has always worn gloves in public - even at State banquets.
I once shook Prince Charles's hand, and I wondered if he wondered what I had been doing with it a few hours before the meeting, in the same way I wondered what he had been doing with his. Best not to think about it if you have to meet a lot of people.
I used to make and handle a lot of cast objects, and what struck me very profoundly was the simple fact that every single cast object has - at some time - been in direct or indirect contact with the original object - like Napoleon's death-mask, for instance.
Now 3D laser printing has arrived, and faithful copies of famous items can actually be sent down a phone line. Has the magic been taken out, put in, or just updated?