Wednesday 17 January 2018

Men who love (pubs) too much


Cro has got me dreaming about the perfect pub again, and I just mentioned George Orwell's perfect pub.

The perfect pub has all the ingredients to be one, all under the one roof. The building should be old and interesting, and situated a little way away from the main routes to avoid rowdy drunks frequenting it.

It should have a crackling log fire in the Winter and shady nooks for the hot Summers. It should have a pretty garden at the back with plentiful seating spread generously apart for personal privacy - definitely no bouncy castles or play areas.

It should have a small selection of delicious, well-kept beers which are quickly served by friendly and helpful bar staff. (Am I allowed to say, preferably a buxom serving wench? No, I didn't think so).

The landlord should be discreet but talkative if required to be so, providing you with other people's gossip and not providing yours to other people.

The the regular clientele  should be as intelligent and entertaining as you are, if not more so. After all, you never improve your game of tennis by playing with people worse at the game than you. Boring drunks would not be tolerated - unless they are you.

Music - if played at all - would be of the kind which you would like to listen to, played at the volume you prefer. There would be no live bands, even on a Saturday night.

Any food would be simple - a choice of two types of roll: Cheese and onion in a crusty white roll and cheese without onion in a crusty white roll.

I am still looking for this pub.

14 comments:

  1. The pub illustrated is The Angel in Lacock. It was used in the Harry Potter films but is s bit too up-market to fit more than a few of the criteria.

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  2. A 'village idiot' would be a good addition; someone one could blame for any unpleasant smells, etc.

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  3. Sounds a bit boring on the food side to me Tom so doubt you will ever find it.

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    1. If you ever were to visit, we would get Scampi and Chips on the menu for one day, Weave.

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  4. Your pub sounds nice for certain occasions but not always for me being one who likes to sometimes frequent dives.

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    1. Don't get me wrong, this would just be for my time off in between dives.

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  5. I can picture it. Now we just need to decide what kind of sound the door should make as you enter. It's very important to get all the details right, you know!

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  6. I fell had over heels with every pub we visited in the UK,except in London and one in Bath. It was so fecking twee, had tea cups and saucers with tealights in them and it cost 8 quid for two half pints and scoop of chips. My favourite was in Faringdon, except for the pokie machines, o out of place in a 13th C space.

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    1. Can you remember the name of the one in Bath? Sounds like a Jane Austen themed one to me.

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  7. Cheese and onion on crusty rolls sounds good. Here they bring salty food to your table for free, which make you thirstier so you end up ordering more drinks.
    Greetings Maria x

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    1. In many cities in Spain, tapas is mandatory for every drink bought. They begin with anchovies and end up with crisps and peanuts.

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  8. Sounds like an awesome pub. There is a small brewery in Albany that sells beer by the litre, bring your own vessel and fill. I like this place!

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