Monday, 6 March 2017

Moon over Turtle Bay


Sounds terribly romantic, doesn't it? In fact, Turtle Bay is a West Indian restaurant just round the corner and it was freezing when I took this photo.

Believe it or not, I have been called up for Jury Service again, and this time I think I am going to have to do it. Four summons to one address in one year doesn't sound that random to me.

I am reminded of this true story as told by John Mortimer from when he was a practicing barrister:

During one case, a woman was giving evidence when she was asked what the accused had said to her, and she said that she could not possibly say it out loud in court, so she was handed some paper and a pen to write it down for the jury.

She wrote, "I want to fuck the arse off you" and the paper was handed to the jury who passed it down the line.

It was handed to a very good-looking woman who was seated next to an elderly man who had drifted off to sleep during the proceedings, so she tapped him on the arm and handed it to him when he woke up. He read it, then folded it up and put it in his pocket.

The judge asked him to hand the paper back to the usher, and the man said, "It's personal."

20 comments:

  1. Haha !!!! Good one !! My Mum did jury service and her case was all about Triad murders .... it was really gruesome !!!! You never know .... you might get an interesting case . XXXX

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    1. I have a good friend who is a high-ranking Triad. I would have to declare an interest.

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  2. Better take some condoms with you then, just in case you get a similar offer.

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    1. Or if I get bored I will put one over my head and blow it up with my nose for a laugh.

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  3. I soooooo want taht story to be true

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  4. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

    His lips are moving.

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    1. How do you tell when a female lawyer is lying?

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    2. She forgets to put on her lipstick and you confuse her with the pitbull.

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  5. I believe it is a true story.

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  6. I have only known one member of our family who has been called for Jury service - my Dad, some 50 years ago. I have never had to and am quite pleased about it. Perhaps it means that I will be more 'lucky' with my Premium Bonds.

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    Replies
    1. Well, maybe luckier than with the Lottery anyway.

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  7. I believe that story is true.

    Over here, after one reaches a certain age jury duty is no longer mandatory. So,,,the last time I showed up for jury duty might have been the last time for me.

    Best wishes.

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    1. Here too, but I am 4 years off that age.

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  8. When my doctor signs the paper to relieve me of jury duty she always asks, "Don't they know how old you are?" Actually, that's a bit insulting. I have enough smarts left, just not enough umph to get across the street.

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    1. I signed up for an over-sixty discount card recently, and after I had done the paperwork, the woman asked me if I had any ID. I said 'no', and she said, "That's ok." I wanted to renounce my discount...

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  9. I got called up a few years back and went in purple earth mother hippy clothes, greasy hair and no makeup. It worked, I got challenged and thankfully didn't have to play a part in the fate of the idiot buffoons on trial for cooking meth.

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