Saturday, 4 February 2017

Yes, we have no bananas


The worst thing about troublesome people (aside from the trouble they cause) is that they are continuously talked about. They are discussed ad nauseum. If someone in the community fits in nicely, is kind, helpful and considerate, they are hardly mentioned - "That Ben, he is a good person." "Yes, he is." End of discussion.

Of course, the troublesome people actually want to be talked about. There is a defect in their personalities which makes them needy. It is a form of inadequacy. What do you give the man who has everything? More attention.

There is something surreal about the way people get up in the morning, go shopping, go to work, go home, cook and eat - whilst a war is being savagely fought one mile away from their homes. What else can they do? Just stop everything before it is stopped for them? That is called suicide.

We - from a 'safe' distance - begin to feel threatened, so retreat to our gated communities. Friends become potential enemies.

Vincent Price in 'The Masque of the Red Death' unwittingly invited Death to shelter in his castle, because he did not know who his real friends were. Building walls and pulling up drawbridges means that you will never really broker proper trade deals with the outside world. Any deal  based on mutual mistrust and paranoia is not going to be a good one.

I awoke yesterday to the shocking news that there is a shortage of green-leaf salad in the U.K. and most supermarkets here are actually rationing lettices to two per person to prevent panic-buying by restaurants.

The cause of this dirth of salad is due to the weather conditions in Spain, apparently - and I thought that the rain in Spain was mainly from the hydroponic systems of the square miles of glass houses on the plain. So - in a tiny way - the spirit of the Blitz has permeated Waitrose.

I try not to buy food which could be grown - seasonally - in this country, but occasionally I will give in because a recipe really needs green beans (from Kenya) and H.I. would not really put up with turnip stew every night for three months. Right now, Cavelo Nero (from Lincolnshire) is everywhere and it is very good, but cannot be added into other mixes due to the bitter flavour it imparts to a stew or stock.

In a shameful display of the 'I'm all right, Jack' mentality of a WW2 spiv, I have to admit that I didn't notice the salad famine until it was pointed out to me by the BBC. I hardly ever eat raw salad, even in the Summer. I am not one of those blokes who consider it 'rabbit food' because I do like a really crispy Iceberg lettice leaf every now and then, but hardly ever in the Winter. I do like pickled vegetables like coleslaw, and I have no compuction in buying frozen soft fruits, so long as they were grown in the U.K.

In the days to come, cues will form down the street outside any shop which is rumoured to have any bananas. Mark my words...

36 comments:

  1. There is no rationing here. Anyway I thought Spain grow everything in greenhouses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I thought too, as you see from the above.

      Delete
    2. Anyway, nobody eats salad in Norfolk do they? I athought it was a diet exclusively of root vegetables like beet.

      Delete
    3. Oh yes, sorry I read it quickly and formed my opinion early. My original conment was about swedes but I scrapped it. Yes we eat lots of root vegetables and I am not sure what a salad is.

      Delete
    4. Are used to have a friend who never ate anything that was green. I think he's dead now. This is a test using Siri! Will it work?

      Delete
    5. Siri must be on her day off.

      Delete
    6. She is in Bath for the weekend so I shout out of the window.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. I finally remembered my password, so the above was done on the phone - for a test, obviously.

      Delete
    2. I had a really creepy Siri encounter last night. I was shouting to Rebecca, who was in the kitchen, and must have uttered something that sounded like /siri/ because my iPhone suddenly woke up and answered me. They are always listening. One wonders what would have happened if I had used the words Trump and kill in the same sentence.

      Delete
    3. I heard a woman here recently who is actually called Siri. She was named that before the system was invented. Actually, I think you need to turn off the 'Hey Siri' function so that it is not constantly listening out. I turned it off on mine, and now I need to press and hold the button to wake her up.

      Delete
  3. Paul is always taking to someone called Siri. I thought she was his girlfriend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I expect you thought she was a dumb blonde because he always speaks slowly and repeats himself?

      Delete
    2. I am blonde and 'Siri' is 'Iris' spelled backwards. Now, if I was not blonde I would probably be able to figure out whether or not there is any significance to this.

      Delete
    3. There is a deep spiritual significance, Iris. I feel it in my nuts.

      Delete
  4. Salads I can do without at a pinch but bananas - now that is a different story Tom - they are my very life blood.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bananas are your life blood. I like that declaration, Weave.

      Delete
    2. I think you should take something to thin the pulp a little if they really are your life blood, they always seem very viscous to me when chewed and I cannot think it is very good for you. I don't know if aspirin works, it is supposed to do quite a good job on the usual red style blood that I have.

      Delete
    3. I think smoking the skins works. Well Donovan said so anyway.

      Delete
  5. We've just learned that national bacon reserves are at a 50-year low. I've never wanted bacon more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG. Time for Denmark to negotiate some advantageous trade deals with you-know-who?

      Delete
  6. Who is the person to 'know' in the village if you want a little special something that is in short supply? Not that I would do that mind you...unless it was egg custard tarts..I'm addicted to them at the moment a la John and his scotch eggs.......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The only things which do not present us with a bewildering set of choices now are lettice and drugs. Having said that, Waitrose have stopped stocking Bisodol tablets and Epicure grated horseradish. I don't know where to tuen for them.

      Delete
  7. In answer to your second paragraph, I thought that's what blogs were invented for, especially for those people who see themselves as experts on politics.
    As for a ration on lettuces, well I do wonder why people eat them, they have little nutritional value and are merely there to bulk up various meals at our expense, imagine how many prawn salads a restuarant can make from one Iceberg lettuce

    ReplyDelete
  8. I refuse to correct both the spellings of queues and lettuces in the hope that I might irritate some people even more than I already have. Now I can retire to bed grinning.

    ReplyDelete
  9. After a week pretty much away from blog land, it's good to be checking back in today. I've been missing reading the written blog word, while keeping up with current events and visiting IG.
    I've yet to find any action of the new regime over here that I wish to praise, and have been in correspondence with my elected reps.
    Good luck you with all the challenges on your schedule for next week. I've left you a tardy reply way back on the coat of arms post.
    (I never buy lettuces in winter. Waiting to see their first appearances at the farmers market is fun.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember the first strawberries of the season. 9 months of trying to remember the taste enhanced the experience and turned it into a celebration.

      Delete
  10. No problem here, and we're closer to Spain. I bought some Endives yesterday (Chicory), which can be either cooked or eaten as salad; a good compromise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really don't like chicory. Maybe the Spanish excuse is a lie. Brecht?

      Delete
    2. I have just been into Waitrose and bought some (english) salad leaves. The shelves are now heaving with salad from the USA...

      Delete