Saturday, 18 February 2017

Cable-tie misery


I keep meaning to have a mini-rant about cable-ties.

They are such strong and useful things that they are over-used. The last time I used them was to attach H.I.'s banner to the railings outside her exhibition. They can withstand any wind and are also virtually vandal-proof against anyone who has not arrived armed with a stout pair of scissors.

They come in all lengths and thicknesses, and are now used by the police as emergency restraints to the wrists and ankles of violent felons.

As their name suggests, they were originally designed to securely bundle together lengths of cables in ducting or wherever, but - as with duct tape - were found to be very useful for all sorts of other applications, not least restraining elderly relatives. Duct tape can be used in conjunction with cable ties to prevent the elderly relatives from screaming for help. Another good use for duct tape is as a method of bikini-line waxing, but without the wax and at a fraction of the cost - so long as you forego local anaesthetic.

Local councils use them to attach notices of parking suspensions or planning applications to lamposts, but - and this is where the rant comes in - they NEVER cut off the spare 8 inches of plastic tie which sticks out from all four corners after the notice has been attached.

The person who takes the notices down when the event is over must be a different one to the person who puts them up, because he/she DOES have a pair of scissors or clippers to cut them off.

After he/she has cut them off - and this is where the rant gets heated - they are left on the pavement where they fell, probably because it is not in the person's remit to pick them up and dispose of them tidily. That is probably the job of the road-sweeper, or whatever they are called these days.

There. I have said it at last.

26 comments:

  1. You digressed a bit there with the sojourn into the bikini line and duct tape. I had to read it twice to see how a cable tie fitted here only to see it didn't.

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    1. Yes it does. Read it again and this time concentrate.

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  2. Your mind and the things that you think about are amazing.

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    1. You only see about 5%. You would not want to see the rest.

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  3. There is a rule that says you always need two or more for a job because you can't find the correct lenght of tie.
    Might add that I can never remember the name of the things when searching in the French equivalent of B&Q.

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    1. That's not a rule, it is a method of practice - or mode d'emploi in French.

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    2. Actually, I like the fact that you can couple them up according to length needed - just so long as you don't mind cutting off the excess from all the extra ties...

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  4. Cable ties, just like medicines or cleaning products, should be kept locked away; they can be dangerous if children play with them.
    Greetings Maria x

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    1. Yes, it has been so long since I had proper children rifling through my medicine cabinet that I could have easily forgotten that. These days, my grown-up grandchildren know where I hide my drugs and are not interested in cable ties.

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  5. Oh that reminds me, I really need to pick up all those cable ties I cut and left out by the rose trellis.

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    1. Yes you do. People like you are a menace to hedgehogs.

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  6. No self respecting kidnapper wouldnt be seen dead with out some

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    1. Gone are the days of ropes and blankets. Ah, how I miss them. These days it's all cable ties and duct tape, though I find gaffa tape much stronger whenever I kidnap someone. You have to be careful not to rip the lips off when removing it though.

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    2. I don't think that you are meant to stick gaffa tape ' there ' Tom ?!!!?!? XXXX

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  7. Gosh, you must be glad to get that off your chest...

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  8. When I exhibited at shows, many artists with wire grids like mine used cable ties. I thought about it, but it seemed stupid to keep buying cable ties when I had fasteners and an electric screw driver to put them together. One friend chided me for not moving up in technology; they were a lot faster. "Such a mess," I answered. "Someone will clean it up," was the response. Now they're running the world.

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    1. That is just plain lazy and produces an unacceptably ugly result. The frequency of unacceptably ugly results has become so much higher in the last few months, hasn't it?

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  9. When I first heard of Duct tape years ago I thought it was called Duck Tape and, for the world of me, could not figure out what it could possibly have to do with ducks.

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    1. There was indeed a brand called Duck Tape, or maybe Ducked Ape.

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  10. The wiring in our barn runs along long visible U shaped cages fixed to the ceiling. The wires are kept in place with cable ties. My electrician had never done this before, and was quite hesitant. Now he loves it.

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    1. Did he use the medieval method before?

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    2. His main problem is with 'level'. None of his wall sockets are level.

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  11. Cale ties also make excellent boning in corsets and stays as they have similar properties to baleen. Just so you know ;)

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