Tuesday 3 January 2017

Still, still water


Tonight, we had an Indian. I don't know what sort of Indian he was, but he reminded me of either a Leopard, or one of those big friendly dogs that sometimes come snuffling up to you in pubs.

What with all the fuss over the video stuff, I am sticking to stills tonight. I cannot face anymore moving pictures.

The Indian: "What would you like to drink?"

Me: "Oh, just water, please."

The Indian: "Still water?"

Me: "Yes, I haven't changed my mind yet."

21 comments:

  1. Pity it wasnt a chinese

    " this Spring roll is rubbery "

    " thank you very much"

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    Replies
    1. This is a true story: I once went into a Chinese restaurant and the centrepiece was a large, heron-like bird carved from a single carrot.

      I asked the elderly waiter what is was, and he said, "It's a carrot."

      Delete
    2. Was it a Muslim curry house? You might wake up in the morning with a shi'ite

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    3. You are not to use that word any more. Now you have to say "people of southern appearance". At least here, so it seems.

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    4. All curry houses in G.B. are Bangladeshi - except maybe one or two which I have not found - but mine was a Waitrose ready-made, so I am guessing it was a Christian curry.

      Not allowed to say the word 'Muslim'? I don't believe it, Gwil, even in Austria - renowned for embracing people from different cultures...

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    5. It's not that it's not allowed exactly. A current example is that if as in Innsbruck over the New Year you were for example locked in a toilet and molested (so far 18 women coming forward - obviously more cannot face to recall their ordeals) the press will refer to the alleged culprits in the manner described so as "not to incite unrest". They used to say "men of mediterranean appearance" but that has been quietly dropped. A recent story of a gang fight between Afghans and Iraqis had to be leaked by "a source" otherwise we'd all know nothing. So it is.

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  2. And did your still water run deep? Or did it end up as a little trickle?

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  3. Is it a prehistoric footprint pancake?

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    Replies
    1. It looks a bit like an Alien's face to me. Although the last Alien I saw was slightly better looking. And please don't ask about the experiments. I still bear the mental scars

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    2. I get abducted by aliens who carry out experiments on me on a weekly basis. The last thing I remember is leaving the pub, then I wake up with a terrible headache, my trousers round my ankles and evidence of intrusive examinations. They even take all my money.

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    3. I think we meet the same one(s)

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  4. Replies
    1. Oh, Tom, an American 1950s TV reference that you don't know? See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hNqmuTvbik

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  5. I see a teddy bear on your bread. I tried hard to see Jebus, but can only see Teddy. Oh well.

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    Replies
    1. Teddies don't fetch as much as Jesus on eBay, but I am thinking of getting one of those sandwich toasters which always print a picture of Jesus, then flooding the market.

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  6. I ate half of it for breakfast this morning and decided it reminded me of a cartoon tropical polar bear.

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