Tuesday, 24 January 2017

Real men don't use umbrellas

I used to work alongside a big, tough stonemason who was also a well-known stunt-bike sportsman.

One rainy day I discovered that he would rather get soaked to the skin with freezing rain than use an umbrella. He thought they were ridiculous and would never be seen beneath one.

I sort of understand how he feels. On the rare occasions that I use an umbrella, I always feel slightly embarrassed and hope I don't run into any real men friends. I have never seen a mountaineer using one, but then again I am not sure I would recognise them as such unless they were up a mountain.

It is a myth (as far as I am concerned) that the older you get, the less you care about what others may think about you. I find myself worrying about certain aspects of my outward appearance more and more, but that doesn't go for my hair-do. I become lazier with age too, and since I would not attract anyone using my appearance alone anymore, I cannot be arsed to keep my hair looking dry and tidy, and I don't spend any money on it.

Right. I'm off out into the freezing fog to do some unpaid work, and it is not voluntary. I am carving flowers onto the sides of a hard, sandstone urn. Flowers. Stone. Now I cannot decide if this is a manly activity or not.

22 comments:

  1. I have two umbrellas; one small fold-up job for the car, and another ordinary one for the house. I use neither, as it tends to rain in the night here; otherwise a quick dash is more practical.

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    1. Then throw them away. You know - de-clutter.

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  2. " I become lazier with age too, and since I would not attract anyone using my appearance alone anymore, I cannot be arsed to keep my hair looking dry and tidy, and I don't spend any money on it."

    Welcome to my world

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  3. Get out there and carve stone you big, tough stonemason you !!!! It's all in the mind !!
    .... and, I have never had any thoughts about men using umbrellas ..,.. I think they look fine ..... maybe a black one and not a flowery one though !!!

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    1. ..... or are you a stone carver ? I'm never sure what you prefer ?... either way, you're a hunky one !!! XXXX

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    2. Just hunk will do. I don't want to be pigeon-holed.

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  4. As a matter of interest if you are not using your appearance alone to attract a woman (assuming here that you want to you understand) what other way is there.
    You are not exacrly a honey pot to attract the bees I assume. Perhaps an up to date photograph might help.

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    1. Well it isn't money, and -believe me - the only way I can survive up until a meeting is with a 30 year-old photo.

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  5. No umbrella would have protected any hairdo from the nor'easter that blew through here in the past 20 hours. 50 mph breezes and many buckets of rain.

    Your post has reminded me of those old photographs of British men wearing bowler hats and carrying furled umbrellas. They did not look as if they'd be much good at lifting or carving stone.

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    1. No, but now they are gone that is not much consolation to me.

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  6. I so often see elderly men with open umbrellas riding their bicycle in the rain here. Umbrellas wouldn't be necessary if they wore a helmet - much safer and a lot more sexier too!
    Greetings Maria x

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    1. The bicycle helmets here are far from sexy, depending on what turns you on, of course.

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  7. Carving flowers from stone must be considered an artistic endeavour, surely. After all no one questions the manliness of Van Gogh or others for painting iris or sunflowers or whatever. As for umbrellas -- well my husband will go so far as to own one black umbrella, but never so far as to actually use it!

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    1. Who dosen't question the sexuality of Van Gogh? I think he used a lot of prostitutes, so umbrellas and flowers don't really count as relevant.

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  8. I have an umbrella. I last used it to stand in the pouring rain and watch my granddaughter perform in an outdoor play. But if I would be soaked to the bone getting somewhere in the rain, I would fish the umbrella from under the car seat again.

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    1. If she performed the play on a high-wire, she could have used that umbrella.

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  9. I know what you mean about the gamp thing ... somehow it still seems odd to me to see men use brollies and yet I don't know why...I confuse and conflict myself so much these days! and a sexy attractive man is more than looks alone.....

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  10. You obviously didn't see the video for the Weather girls; "It's raining men"?? Combine the flowercarving in the very masculine material, stone, with that very manly umbrella, and your appeal will be splendid!! Please post a picture of the flowers!!!

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    1. IT'S RAINING MEN, HALLELUYA IT'S RAINING MEN! - YEAH YEAH YEAH!... How could I forget the Weathergirls?

      Cannot post a picture - sworn to secrecy.

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    2. I like the bit about getting 'SOAKING WET' as well.

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