Friday, 18 November 2016

Sheer poetry


It's a shame that Ebay didn't wait a few more days until asking me to write a review on the iPhone I bought, because I now regret complaining about the appallingly short battery life on it. Another elderly owner of the Mark 4 showed me how to shut down all the things I have been looking at since first turning it on, thereby stopping them from quietly sucking the life out of the phone continuously, even when it is asleep. Oh well, at least I admitted my age and inexperience.

Everyone's (two people's) complaints about my 'going on' about phones so much has been water off my feathery back, but Mise's observation about the contrast between wordy posts and shorter ones has made me very self-conscious about writing this one. I think this one is going to fall into the category of 'going on'.

One of the reasons I 'go on' so much is that one of the people who complain about it also compliments me on how much he enjoyed the short ones, saying things like, "That was your best post to date" implying that he has sharp enough critical faculties to be qualified to make such judgements, whereas he is just as lazy as I am about reading long posts - so I punish him in the same way that I punish the other by refusing to set the clock.

The previous post was so short because I had to almost encrypt bits of information for reasons of confidentiality, and in doing so I was forced to pack as much meaning as I could into as few words as there are. I suppose that if I took this to the extreme I would end up with a Haiku.

The irony is that he said that he didn't have a clue what I was going on about, but in fact he is the only person on this blog who ought to have known!

Perhaps he was still in shock at being mugged by a gull.




33 comments:

  1. Never have your budgie stuffed.

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  2. Think yourself lucky. I parked my car next a Citroen, this morning, that was going up and down every 10 or so seconds. I watched in disbelief as I imagined his battery fading fast. I left before the man returned.

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  3. Who pissed on your chips?
    I have a perfect right to tell you if I have enjoyed a particular post ..usually the ones I have enjoyed are the ones with some personal revelation that has particulary moved me....
    I think i am sharp enough to say what I really think
    So please dont tell me what I think and how I act!

    Dont be so pissy!

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    1. Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!

      You are such a fucking drama queen.

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  4. No names, but the evidence lies in a now digested custard tart!

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    1. I am hoping for a video of the next day at least, when the gull returns and drops it back on him!

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  5. I prefe reading concise posts. I normally die from boredom otherwise.

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    1. Me too, but I always remember the choice of the delete button. That choice is open to everyone.

      It is strange that I have enough time on my hands to write them, but not enough to read everyone else's.

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    2. You "normally die from boredom otherwise", Terry. Please don't tell Tom (I do live on borrowed time as it is) that I asked you this: Why aren't you dead (yet)?

      U

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    3. Explain this unpleasant sounding comment to me in a convincing way within 12 hours, Ursula, or I will block you forever.

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    4. Why do you take it as unpleasant? It may sound it, but it wasn't meant to be. It was merely a little play on Terry's "normally die of boredom". Which by the law of nature means he'd be dead by now (yes, I know it's a saying and not to be taken literally). Secondly, my reply also implied that there are indeed many bloggers and other writers who will go on a bit - but dare say, considering that many bloggers are not professional writers, we should be more forgiving. After all, a lot of blogs (including mine) are more like stream of consciousness, encouraging discourse among author and reader, than writing a literary masterpiece with which to hold court.

      You know the irony, Tom? I myself do not think you "go on". I actually really enjoy the way your posts paint a picture of you, your life, little incidents, learned snippets of history and the odd bit of sculpture thrown in. I have said it before and I say it again, I find you (and your style of writing) interesting in the way the more intelligent interest me. If I didn't I wouldn't keep coming back. I tried to leave you something to this effect in a separate comment addressed to you, however, had to abandon it midway when my neighbour's waters broke.

      Hope my twelve hours aren't up yet, and will be granted another stay of execution.

      You know one of the (to me) most endearing British principles? "Giving someone the benefit of the doubt." Please do not always jump to the worst possible take on anything I say just because I say it.

      U

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    5. Well your stay of execution was forced on me last night when I realised that Google had altered the way we administer these blogs, and - after half a bottle of wine - I could not find out how to get rid of anyone, let alone you. I cannot see my followers list anymore, and I got fed up with looking for it, so for the time being everyone is safe.

      Your protests of being misunderstood don't take away from the fact that you must know that you come over as a beligerent and unkind commentator in almost every comment you make. You cannot be so unintelligent to realise that if you slightly changed the way you write, or modify your responses a little, then you would not be so misunderstood, so I believe you actually like causing trouble.

      I would not want anyone to water-down their comments or beliefs, but you must know that it gets very boring to have to try and sort out all these misunderstandings every time you comment?

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    6. I mean, if people have to give you 'the benefit of the doubt' every time you open your mouth, something is not right, eh?

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    7. Yes, insert derisory snort, "if people have to give [me] the benefit of doubt every time [I] open [my] mouth, something is not right". I couldn't agree more. Something is not right. However, please do remember: Communication is a two way street. And, it happens, if the twain doesn't meet then please do not make the mistake of holding only one party responsible. You don't "get" me. Neither do I see you wanting to. There is no give on your side; you are on a track and appear to be determined to stay on it. Regardless. I had hoped otherwise, and I note your continued rebukes with some dismay, but there it is. We can't all be "friends". I don't know how HI finds it; it sure is hard to find favour with you. I have tried, and it appears that it's not to be.

      There are plenty more observations I could make, and I'd love to. But I am, slowly, learning when to leave hope without return behind me.

      In the meantime, keep your writing flowing as was, Tom. Let no one unsettle you and milk those insecurities (something I cannot be accused of), those insecurities you do occasionally show.

      Best wishes, and I mean it,
      Ursula

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    8. You don't seem to understand that it is not myself that I am asking you not to be weird or spiteful to, it is others. You started off by using my blog to attack Rachel, because she has stopped you from commenting on hers. I didn't like that for reasons I don't have to explain.

      Here, you sent me some sort of cryptic message by replying to Terry's comment. Why am I explaining all this to you? You fucking well know what you do, otherwise you wouldn't call yourself The Bitch on the Blog and you might write one of your own from time to time.

      I wish your boredom threshold was as low as mine.

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    9. She ceased to mean anything at all to me but a joke when she decided to disagree with John on his blog about my rail journey in Siberia, and attempted to bring me down as is usual for her. As if anybody would care what she thought and I know I didn't.

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    10. Tom, your wish of my "boredom threshold ... as low" as yours I share. Unfortunately mine is - bred in the bone - very high. I am never bored by others.

      Rachel? Rachel brought herself to my attention many months ago when she told me to "fuck off" on Cro's blog because I wasn't "wanted". At the time I pointed out to her that Cro was man enough to speak for himself. Cro, ever the gentleman, and I have made our peace since - despite his occasionally bizarre take on politics.

      Rachel however is not material to make peace. As one of her friends told me she dislikes me. Intensely. Which is enough for her to delete the most even tempered and reasoned comment of mine in her blog's comment box. Not reflecting on anything. Red rag(e) to the bull I am to her. That's fine. I can't say I reciprocate her strong feelings nor understand where her hostility (not just to me - to anything, including life) comes from but do realize that she waxes and wanes like the moon - only less reliably so. She is unforgiving. And that is, and no doubt always has been, her undoing in life.

      Why did I name myself "Bitch on the Blog"? Many years ago I stumbled on a clique (not dissimilar to yours, Rachel's, John's and hangers-on) who framed me into "a bitch". As an alliteration (bitch on the blog) it seemed funny at the time - when asked to start my own blog. The blog's name's charm somewhat worn thin; not least because I may be many things; a bitch I ain't. Critical? Yes.

      Tom, the ball is in your court. If you want me to keep responding to your posts I will; neither will I be dictated how (non) controversial or otherwise I am "allowed" to be; if not, I did say my good-byes in my earlier comment to you.

      U

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    11. My dear Rachel,

      I have NOT ceased to "mean anything to you at all". I got under your skin. What is so bad about getting you out of your comfort zone?

      Please do not forget that I hadn't even noticed you till you started your attacks at me on Cro's blog. No rhyme, no reason. Just attacks. Do be genuine enough to admit that you didn't like me from the off. I was vaguely baffled what on earth got you my goats. Did I tread on your patch?

      Just for once in your (blogging) life do admit, Rachel, that you did put a foot badly wrong. I have tried and tried and tried some more to connect with you - to be met with one delete after the other. No discourse. Nada. Like so many, possibly even Tom (though I give his intelligence more credit than that), once you take a dislike to someone you can't see beyond your own nose. You spit into the face of someone holding their hand out to you. If only you read what I wrote you'd have seen something worthwhile in what I wrote. Do you really flatter yourself that I commented on your blog because I have nothing else to do? Whilst I can't make head or tail of you I do believe there is many a tale to be told behind that persona "Rachel" you put up for public view.

      I am here if you want me. Trust me, I mean well. If you don't that's ok; just stop hurling pellets in the wrong direction.

      U

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    12. If any blogger believes any of this then they are as bad as you are.

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    13. I am now truly and utterly bored with this. Ursula, you can do or say whatever you like, and if I don't like it I will just delete you until I find out how to block you again - which I will not do because I want as pleasant a weekend as possible.

      You cannot be that sensitive if you haven't noticed how Rachel calls everyone - not just you - 'cunts and wankers' on a regular basis. Amazingly, many elderly and fragile women and men just wait for the moon to start waning and come back as if nothing has happened. I don't know how she gets away with it. Everytime I have called someone a cunt to their face, I never see them again.

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  6. Tom, I now wish that I had thought to mention to you the effect of shutting off apps that you weren't using. You might already know this battery saving tip, too. If you lower the brightness of the phone's screen it will help, and it's also easier on your eyes.

    You do write well. I don't always have a comment worth typing, but always read your posts.

    Best wishes.

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    1. Thank you, Francis - the man who told me about shutting off apps also told me about the light brightness, but I am grateful still.

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