Sunday 2 October 2016

Rose Aurora


Morning! Lovely day, isn't it?

By now you will know that my jelly didn't set last night, and if you think that's a euphemism, that's fine by me. I seem to be constanly misunderstood right now - so much so that I begin to wonder if I really do have a mild form of Tourettes which is becoming less mild the older I get. Hey Ho...

Last night when I went back into Waitrose to pick up the forgotten Yorkshire Puddings (no, I don't make my own - our kitchen is too small), I made an impulse purchase of the DVD of 'Mr Holmes'.

All I know about it is that Sherlock comes out of retirement in 1947 and goes back to 221B Baker Street to solve an old mystery. The mystery to me is that if it was as widely acclaimed as it says on the cover, then why had I not heard about the film before now?

In this version, Ian McKellen plays Holmes, but on the cover photo he is playing an extremely convincing John Gielgud. This is not a good omen for me. I am very choosy about who plays my Holmes.

So tonight, I have to decide between The Antiques Roadshow, Holmes, or - indulgently - both. I have no pressing work engagements tomorrow, so I think I could stay up until 11.00.

Just to show you what a strange job I have, the last thing I did on Friday was to execute several hundred spiders by gassing them with poisonous smoke. I fitted some metal conduit pipe to the two crates, put the foggers underneath them, lit the blue touch-paper and retired to a safe place - i.e. Bath.

Their only crime was to be foreign, and possibly venomous.  I did not like doing it, and I was only carrying out orders.

Monday's little task will be to re-paint and re-fit our wooden lavatory seat. This is the sort of job which men do after they have retired to a safe place, and - once again - I am only carrying out orders.

My next job will be to remove the bit of Portugese, Rose Aurora marble (the phone cover above is made from it!) splashback which is threatening to fall off on its own and break someone's foot, then resurface the wall before refitting it. More orders.

After that is done - or possibly during the other two jobs - I may get round to fitting the new bathroom door which has been leaning up against the wall of my workshop for about two years, and up against the wall outside the bathroom for another six months.

Thomas will arrive from Bremerhaven on the 10th, and we want the place to look as nice/be as safe as possible for him.

26 comments:

  1. Do you have a favourite Holmes? I think I may have a copy of the Ian McKellen but haven't watched it yet. In fact that happens a lot with me -- I buy a film and wait for the right moment to watch it -- but then forget I have it ...

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    1. Visually, it has to be Basil Rathbone. Audio, it is Clive Merrison. He has the best voice of Homes ever.

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    2. The absolute worst Holmes ever was Jeremy Brett. Without wishing to be offensive to old queens, he is just an old queen trying to sound super intelligent and not getting away with it. If it were not so bloody awaful, it would make a good comedy.

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    3. 'awaful' - there's my deformed little finger playing up again.

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    4. P.S. Clive Merrison played the headmaster in 'The History Boys' (great film). If he were a foot taller he would look the part as well.

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    5. I saw all the Holmes-actors (and saw McKellen in the cinema a few weeks before) because I write about (all of) them. Personally I like Rathbone, didn't think Brett as bad as you do, but also - and there I might stand quite alone - I loved to see Cumberbatch.

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    6. I've just watched it. Sort of ok, but McKellen doesn't ring true to fiction. Cumberbatch was also brilliant.

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    7. Ian McKellen plays Ian McKellen - end of performance.

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  2. Replies
    1. I know, but I don't know who it was.

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    2. Do I look bovvered? Well do I? Do I?

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    3. Someone doesn't like you anymore

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    4. It may be someone who has only just realised that I have stopped following them, or it could be someone I have offended with meat-eating stories or sexual exploit stories, or jokes against Republicans, but - as I say - do I look bovvered? Well do I? Do I?

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  3. My orders recently have been 'Set that trap' or 'Take that mouse out of the trap'. A man's orders are never ending.

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  4. This is in no way a criticism but I was wondering if it was worth painting a wooden toilet seat. We have just replaced two wooden toilet seats that we've had for years and they had had their day ..... maybe we should have painted them ! XXXX

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    1. Yes, it has to be done. This seat is only around a year old anyway, and was badly painted by H.I. This means that various bit have worn away, such as the place where I stuff my bits in. Also, I fitted it wrongly (see previous posts) so that it opens gently and closes violently. I have to put the hinges in reverse order. Having repainted it, I will coat it with some sort of yacht varnish, and hopefully I will die before it does. Well you did ask...

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    2. And you were going on about me......

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    3. And you were going on about me......

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  5. A jack of ALL trades. My dad always said an engineer who couldn't change a faucet washer really was not an engineer. He would have liked you.

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  6. I like that rose aurora marble. I also enjoy Antique Roadshow but on the rare occasion I try to watch it, my husband rolls his eyes and groans. Same thing when I watch Great British Bake Off. It's sometimes a challenge to figure out what to watch together.

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    1. Just get another TV and put his in the attic.

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  7. You can't beat the old Holmes. The Hound of the Baskervilles in black and white for example. This modern stuff is for the katz.

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    1. Ah yes, London on a Winter's night - fog swirling, a ship's horn sounding just off Baker Street, Californian cicadas chirruping away on a nearby gas lamp...

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