Sunday 10 July 2016

How happy are you?



In the throes of moving into her new home, Joanne is waiting for a service-provider to make a follow-up call to 'ascertain her degree of happiness' so that she can get something fixed.

You cannot buy anything these days without having a password (and in creating it, the provider makes you feel like an idiot if you choose something that you stand any chance of remembering), then once the goods arrive, you are expected to fill out a survey.

I bought 24 good candles from an old-style chandlers the other day, then the follow-up invited me to express my satisfaction on a scale of about 5, followed by the likelihood of my recommending their candles to anyone else in the future. They already had a Royal Charter, so I have lost the opportunity to recommend them to the Queen. She already knows how good they are, as do dozens of churches throughout Christendom.

I would have given them 5 out of 5, were it not that they asked me to, so they ended up with 4. I am writing to Buckingham Palace to let them know about my review.

The most irritating surveys begin on a positive note, even if you think that the company/experience stinks:

Are you A: Happy; B: Very Happy; C: Extremely Happy; D: Speechlessly Happy; E: Ecstatic?

We visited the Pompidou Centre in Malaga when we were there, and were singled out at the exit to complete a survey on our experience.

After the initial questions about our country of origin, reasons for visit, age, etc. the questions all began with something like, 'Did you find the Pompidou Centre an extremely uplifting and educational experience?' or 'What was the most exciting part of the exhibition for you?' With the young lady hovering over us as we sat at the desk, it seemed churlish to write down anything other than a 'yes' when asked.

Of course, some people find it impossible to write a positive review about anything, no matter how good their experience. I am thinking of Trip Advisor and the NHS. They become drunk with the power that they wield, whereas ever since I got the appallingly bad manager of a Glastonbury hotel the sack, I am very wary about what I write on it, and make a point of giving credit where credit is deserved. It takes a lot of courage for me to say something negative on a public review these days, so if I didn't like something, I generally keep my mouth shut about it.

Green-Eyes has just got back from nursing experience in a Philippine children's hospital, and had to endure the shattering experience of watching a couple of children die because their parents could not afford about 25 cents worth of drugs.

She was introduced to a beaming young mother with a strapping child, and was told that - when the child was a tiny baby - the mother spent 24 hours a day keeping the baby's lungs working by pumping a rubber sphere, because she couldn't afford the electricity for the respirator. In this case, the nurses' job was to wake her up every time she started to fall asleep, otherwise the baby would have died. This went on for ONE YEAR. She had virtually no sleep for ONE YEAR, but the baby survived. This mother knew the meaning of true happiness.

She returns to the NHS as a qualified nurse in September, and she is bracing herself for all the dissatisfied  - if distraught - parents, and the negative feedback about poor service. Before she left the Philippines, her and her fellow Brit students went to the local pharmacy and bought about £25 worth of essential stuff which the hospital lacked. That £25 was nothing to them (well, it was quite a lot at the time, actually), but will probably save many lives.

Happiness is relatively inexpensive over there, even though life is not cheap.

22 comments:

  1. I saw a great Brexit thing yesterday. It was someone holding a cat. The owner said that the Brexit vote was just like the cat's behaviour - it meows and meows to be let out every day, then as soon as the door is opened, it stands there wondering if it really wants to go out before deciding that it doesn't.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Because I let my fingers do the finding on Amazon, and buy most everything short of comestibles there, I am bombarded with surveys. The only one I ever answered was for a young lady in England, carrying on her parent's handkerchief manufacturing business. I have excited a whole new set of survey takers with the purchases for this move. The fellows who moved my studio to a new community non profit in Cleveland had a survey answered by me. Sadly, there was no mark above the best for the fine job they did. And, I did not hesitate to give Time Warner a fail on the installation job.
    I hope Green Eye's experience in the third world helps her put other people's problems in perspective. When I was a child, my mother spent a lot of time in hospitals with us children, two with potentially life ending problems. She only said, "Look around. There are people worse off than we are."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Her parent's handkerchief maunufacturing business? Amazing - I thought Kleenex had got rid of those.

      Delete
  3. I have stopped opening survey emails. If something extraordinary occurs, either good or bad, I will get in touch with the merchant. Otherwise, once I've paid and received the goods, I'm done with that transaction.
    Equally annoying are the emails that come from online merchants after you've looked at something but not bought it. No matter how many times Pottery Barn offers me a 20% discount and free shipping, I'm still not buying their made in China linen sheets.

    Convenience comes at a price. And when yet another Mom and Pop store closes, I wonder if it's worth it. I am complicit in their demise and my lack of privacy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shawn, I think I might be on the same page with you about completing questionnaires. Rarely do I accept such an invitation.

      On to my agreement with you about Pottery Barn. As you might also remember, its origins back in the late 1960s was humble and the products sold were imports of "real" items, mainly from Europe. I still have my morning Cheerios from a TG Green ironstone dish bought way back then...and have three extras left from the set, in case of ironstone breakage. It's all knock offs now.

      I do try to still choose a Mom and Pop shop, particularly those who still exist in my neighborhood, and love shopping at the farmers markets. Think I'm still resistant to herding.

      Tom, please forgive me for taking up this space.

      Comment for you later in the queue.

      Delete
    2. What, exactly, is a Mom and Pop shop? Is it a small local store that sells " everything" ?

      Delete
    3. If you don't know what a Mom and Pop store is, how come you try to use them whenever possible?

      Shawn - I've just remembered what is worse than surveys: When you buy something online, then for about a year, get offered the same item over and over again because of the 'intelligent' personalised target advertising.

      Delete
    4. Oi Tom……different Frances!! ( In England )

      Delete
  4. We're all so spoiled with convenience and cheap goods here in the first world, that it's easy for people to act like grown up spoiled brats over even the most minor frustrations in life. Working in retail, I see this kind of thing a whole lot. Most people have no idea what it's like for a large majority of the human race in poorer parts of the world (losing a child for the lack of 25 cents for Christ's sake!) and seriously need to check their privilege. And I include myself in that category, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most of the time, I do not want this amount of 'choice'.

      Delete
  5. I'll be happy if Blair gets done for contempt of parliament. They should send him the Tower and chop off his head.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Here they use surveys as a marketing-trick: for example, the weekly (honorable)magazine DIE ZEIT mails you to ask your opinion ("What do you think - how will GB vote?) - and then they try to sell you an subscription.
    'Green-Eyes'does a wonderful job: I am always delighted that young people care. (Old ones too, come to think of it. Most).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, surveys sell magazines, and the most successful ones ask people intimate details of their sex lives.

      Delete
  7. Plenty to ponder there.
    Changing the subject,did I not see you chastise Mr Grey with what you saw as a preoccupation with dog poo in his comments?
    You could give him a day off and offer him something from your archive to post.
    How about your dissertation on "white dog poo"?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Tom, please do convey to Green Eyes my best wishes to her on her nursing career. Perhaps I've mentioned here before that my Grandmother was a nurse, and continued to work in that profession until she might have been even older than I am now. (She lied about her age...or took a vague approach to the date.)

    It is uplifting to read about a young person like Green Eyes having a generous soul and a trained brain. The future is brighter with her as part of it.

    Best wishes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She has always been naturally caring - you know, nice to nasty old people like me.

      Delete
  9. On-line questionnaires are the worst, they always claim that it will take just a few seconds. Usually after the first 10 pages I give up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got one the other day which said, 'This should only take about 15 minutes of your time'. At least they were honest.

      Delete
  10. I never answer questionnaires...life is too short. Well done to Green Eyes, and the line 'essential stuff that the hospital lacked' is just too sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it may only get worse - apparently they have elected someone as president who is described as 'the Donald Trump of the Philippines'.

      Delete