Thursday, 23 June 2016

Tall poppy

I'm not normally one for sticking my head over the parapet. Try Googling me and if you are scrupulous, you will find one - and one only - mention of me on someone else's web pages.

You can find me on the electoral roll, but only because I would not be able to have a bank account if I had not registered.

And today, for the first time in my reasonably (and comparatively) long life, I am about to make use of my registration by voting in the E.U. referendum. On the rare occasions that I have foolishly admitted to having never voted in my life, some left-wing trade unionist has had to be cut short in the middle of a accusatory tirade in which he attempts to give me a history lesson on the blood which has been spilt by our grandfathers and great-grandfathers who fought hard to get me the vote. I usually just tell them to fuck off and mind their own capitalist business to shut them up.

This vote will be a first for H.I. as well, and I would imagine that she must have got it in the neck from the grand-daughters of the Suffragettes when admitting it. Although she is far too polite to tell her sisters to 'fuck off', she is not so demure that she does not call most politicians 'cunts' on a regular basis, and that must be enough to shut most Suffragettes up, just from sheer shock. I'm with her in that opinion, and this is the main reason that neither of us have ever voted before. This may be about to change, though.

When the dust has settled and the cabinet re-shuffles have left heads rolling in the corridors of Whitehall, it will be interesting to see what effect - if any - the death of Jo Cox has had on the entire system in general, and our attitudes toward politicians in particular.

Michael Eavis went on the media recently to ask the festival goers to please NOT arrive early at Pilton, because the water-logged car-parks there would cause horrific problems if they did.

So what did everyone do? You guessed it - they all arrived early and they all arrived at the same time. Roads around Shepton Mallet have been closed by the police because of the 15 mile tailbacks, and some people have been sleeping in their cars for 12 hours. The average wait to get on site from 400 yards away is 4 hours.

When I mentioned this to H.I. she said, "Michael Eavis is a cunt."

I asked her how she had come to think so highly of him - what reason she had to call him that, when I had never seen anything but honourable and polite behaviour toward others from him (they don't call it Worthy Farm for nothing) and she said, "Oh isn't he? I just thought he was."

14 comments:

  1. I've never understood using the word cunt as a description of someone horrible or evil, as in my opinion cunts are fabulous and useful things....

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    1. Are you British? Do you understand what a 'cad' is? Well, a cunt is about 20 times worse than a cad, but only when applied to a man. As far as the rest of what you say goes, I am with you all the way.

      For instance, I have always found my prick, cock, dick, etc. etc. to be a useful and fabulous thing too, but I am not so possessive about it that I am not willing to lend the name to anyone in order to describe an idiot.

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    2. I think what Libby is talking about is a nice pussy.

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    3. That's acceptable, is it? I once met Lord Kennet, and took great delight in telling him that his name was - in fact - Lord Cunt. 'Kennet' is the tract of land called this by the Saxons and earlier, because of the spring which issues from between two hills.

      Lets just call a cunt a cunt, shall we? There is nothing wrong with that name - far better than 'pussy' or 'willy' - or hmm-hmm!

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    4. A cunt is a cunt here.

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  2. Tosser and a cunt we said when we saw the lorries held up in the traffic and then the handwritten signs of the locals.

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    1. You both understand, don't you. The 'hand written signs of the local cunts', may have been more inclusive. We must share the accolades.

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  3. Yes I do know what a cad is (and Terry Thomas depicting one on screen was, to me, a little sexy) and perhaps I'm not clever enough with words to explain what I mean. Rachel is right - a nice pussy is exactly that...and a nice cock or prick is also lovely....but why not elbow or toe as an insult?...also why do we call idiots wankers? they are not alone in finding fun with their fingers...why not call them farters or nose pickers?. Once, in a very noisy and crowded room, I had cause to call out for a Mr Hunt....I'm afraid for some reason I called for Mr Cunt and you could have heard a pin drop...in the ensuing silence I heard myself say 'I do apologise..I was thinking of something else..'

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    1. 'Mike Hunt' is the standard shout-out. If I have to explain why sexual organs are funnier than elbows or toes, then I simply cannot be bothered.

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  4. I would be interested to know what the rest of you cunts think about all this, but I have - over the years - come to know better than to want that.

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  5. I don't know if it would surprise you or not to learn that I never use words such as cunt or dick to describe a person. In fact, I think of such usage as crass.

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  6. I would have thought that it was all those who chose to ignore Eavis who were the cunts; not Eavis.

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    1. My point exactly. I don't think she was thinking straight - it just came out of her mouth.

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