I have been waiting for a plumber to call round for a week now, and he's not even Polish. I wish I could find a Polish one, but they will become even scarcer if we vote OUT, especially here in Bath, where we consider it a matter of honour to pay three times as much for anything as the rest of England.
Lidl have fought Waitrose for years for the right to open a shop here, but when they were finally granted the privilege, they were sited out on an industrial wasteland, just beneath Twerton, where all poor people and students live.
My client's estate has gone from being run by one manager to being run by ten managers, and now to being run by one person who runs her own Health and Safety, risk-reduction company.
On the day or so she is actually on site, she wanders around with a clip-board, looking for anyone who may be contravening the rules which she has made up over the last few months.
Ironically, this place became a death-trap on paper, with one of the highest accident rates per capita in England, shortly after she got the job. Alarm bells rang, and the other managers looked into how this could possibly have come about, especially since she had just been employed to prevent accidents.
It turned out that she had insisted that very single, little mishap - banging your elbow on the corner of the wall through sheer clumsiness, etc. - should be written down in an accident report book, no matter how trivial.
As soon as the system reverted to sensible accident reporting, the place miraculously became as safe as any other similar site in the country. Mystery solved.
I am not allowed to work off ladders, even if the area is only 12 inches out of my reach. I have to work off proper scaffolding which has been erected by trained operatives, and if the scaffold has to be moved 12 inches to a different position, the same operatives have to move it for me.
Shortly I will have to do something which is 12 inches out of my natural reach, but if I am forced to use scaffold it will block off a road for about three days, so I suggested (to a different manager) that I just bring a beer-crate along and stand on that.
"We have hop-ups just for that purpose," he told me. 'Hop-ups' are glorified beer-crates.
I asked if I would have to go on a training course to use one, and he said - quite seriously - that I would have to be instructed as to the correct way to mount one.
I am about to be told how to stand on a beer-crate by a man who is 20 years younger than me.
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