Tuesday, 17 May 2016

The Mirror

Are you insecure and worried about it? Then I will respond accordingly. I don't have any opinions, I just do my job.

Do you have brown or white skin that you have never felt comfortable in and think yourself ugly or unattractive? I will support you. Do you think you look absolutely gorgeous? I will back you up there too.

Do you think that you are old and your life is over? I'm with you all the way.

Are you still overly concerned about being too butch or too feminine? Whatever you think, I will support you.

If you think your arse looks big in that dress, who am I to contradict?

If you worry that your cock is too small, then I will support you through thick and thin.

Too fat? Well, maybe you are.

Too thin? Well, maybe you are.

Bad hairstyle? You don't see me sniggering, do you? Just the reverse.

Stare into a candle-lit mirror for long enough, and the Devil looks right back at you.

36 comments:

  1. There is the candle-lit (hyphenated!) mirror and then there is its cousin, the selfie. Bastards, all of them!! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You normally stand next to someone in a selfie don't you?

      Delete
    2. Well, that is true. A lot of selfies are taken with famous people. Unless you are Kim Kardashian. Then you just take pictures of yourself. About 1000 of them.

      Delete
    3. About 1000 are just of her arse. Do you think my bum looks big in this? Good.

      Delete
  2. I'm insecure, my life is over, I'm too feminine, my dress does me no favours. But I know I can count on your sympathy and understanding. You're a true pal.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Do you think that you are old and your life is over?

    Yes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On reflection, you may have answered correctly for me - or maybe not.

      Delete
  4. It was my answer......feeling sorry for myself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I see. I was doing the usual self-centred thing about thinking that everything is about/to do with/revolves around little me. I forgot that everyone has a mirror - despite having just written the above. Everyone is wrapped up in themselves, eh?

      Delete
  5. I no longer know the person in the mirror. That's a good thing. If I only style clothes like I used to, the two of us would hit the town. Probably as well I cannot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's probably just as well you cannot - if you say you cannot. Karl Lagerfeld has just taken advantage of Cuba opening up by taking over a very picturesque town there for a giant fashion show - crumbling and colourful, colonial houses - to which he invited the rich, famous and glamorous. He made it very clear that he didn't want any of the locals who actually live there ruining it by walking around their own town when it was on.

      Delete
  6. 'Insecure and worried' will be engraved on my Pyramid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The thing about natural worriers is that if they have nothing to worry about, they will invent something.

      Delete
  7. Jesus loves you. Ha! Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Someone has changed all the mirrors in our house, either that or there is another person staying with us! Greetings Maria x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell them to go away - back to the 1970s.

      Delete
  9. Candlelight is flattering they say....what do they know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The thing about staring steadily into a mirror with in candlelight is true. After about 3 or 4 minutes, someone completely different dispassionately looks back at you. It is shocking - I don't recommend it.

      Delete
  10. Oh Tom, my ageing face has taken great comfort from the mirror's comments!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some ancient Greek philosopher said that, after the age of 40, you have the face you deserve. I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve mine, then I remember.

      Delete
    2. As long as you can remember, everything is well. But even if not.

      Delete
    3. So long as I can remember the name of the present Prime Minister... that was difficult during the coalition, and it worried me...

      Delete
  11. “Mirrors should think longer before they reflect.” (Jean Cocteau)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a good one - I have not heard it before. I am thinking of Orpheé, where the characters walk into a mirror. That must have been a lot of poisonous mercury to film!

      Delete
  12. My mirror has recently convinced me that the latest miracle cream from Boots No 7 range has obliterated some previously very ageing wrinkles. While I'm obviously quite pleased about it, I'm also slightly worried that the chemicals involved might be dangerous to life. Will this worry produce more wrinkles? It's as if the devil is hovering for his payment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Picture of Dorian (not John) Gray.......

      Delete