Sunday, 15 May 2016

Yet more UXBs


That fake bomb left in the stands of the Manchester football ground was a dog-training device accidentally left by a security firm. Derr.

The police said that it was 'incredibly realistic'.

There is no such thing as 'incredibly realistic'.

What they meant was 'credibly realistic'. Derr.

At least my childhood hoax was deliberate.

23 comments:

  1. So much for the advantages of out-sourcing.

    Here in Belfast the standard description is "an elaborate hoax". Presumably as opposed to a rudimentary hoax, whatever that might be.

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    1. I avoid such clichés like the plague.

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    2. I avoid them like nobody's business.

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    3. Then you're a man after my own heart.

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  2. I couldn't find "derr" in the dictionary - but I think I can guess the meaning.
    Only one hoax in childhood? Thinking of you I can't believe that. Derr. (Had to use it once, whether appropriate or not).

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    1. That pedant John would have you believe it is spelt 'doh', but he only has The Simpsons to go by. In this country, you make the noise 'der' whilst holding your thumb and forefinger against your forehead in an 'L' shape which stands for 'loser', and then immediately push your tongue between your bottom lip and teeth whilst staring at the person you think is stupid. Teenagers are the masters of this form of communication.

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    2. I much prefer the manual expression of 'Dick Head'.

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    3. The insult in this country must be pronounced the same way as Eddie Grundy pronounces Linda Snell's first name:' Linderr'. That is my last word.

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    4. We have exactly the same gesture - well, normally only children use it - but we say: "Bäh!" or "Ätsch!"

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  3. You would have thought that someone might have piped up that perhaps it was something left from the earlier dog training! Derr !!

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    1. I would not like to be the bloke who left it in the cubicle today.

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    2. No common sense these days Frances. I said the same thing.

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    3. It wouldn't have happened at a rugby match.

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  4. Replies
    1. How would you know? You're a German living in the USA. (Only joking! x)

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  5. What surprised me was how everyone left in such an orderly manner. Football crowds orderly? Who would have thought it.

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    1. That's because the South Yorkshire Police weren't pushing them from behind.

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