Tuesday 10 May 2016

Be brave

On the whole - with a couple of exceptions - all you bloggers are an encouraging and friendly lot. Even the ones who complain of boredom or offensive language seem to come back for more, but I know that compulsion. When someone consistently irritates you (or me) it takes more effort than one might think to walk away and never return. The old answer about 'there is always an off button' does not work for the TV or radio, so why should it apply here?

Some people just cannot help being irritating to others (I include myself) even if they have no deliberate intention of being so, but it is rare that I stop following them because I cannot stand to be irritated any longer. I have only done this once, but the ignored one still comes back to comment here, and I still over-react to his facile observations with a sort of cyber-slap to the face. If I met such a person in the pub (and I meet many - pubs are renowned for them) I walk away. If that does not work, then I say - as politely as possible - that I may become offensive if they continue to talk to me, and that it is my sincere wish that I avoid this situation. If they persist, I tell them to fuck off.

Life is too short for A: getting bored in pubs, B: getting bored online, and C: 'Comment Moderation'.

There are some really nice people here who write very pleasant posts, but they insist on vetting any comments left on them, just in case they do not like what is said. Of all the people who put up posts on this blog facility, they are the least likely to get nasty comments by trolls, so why do they insist on moderation?

I often forget that before I can publicly compliment them on how lovely their Springer Spaniel looks as he runs through the long grass, or how absolutely delicious their latest batch of cup-cakes look - yummy! - my compliment has to be approved of by the blog owner, and I never return to the same post to see my comment in print.

I leave them alone for a few weeks, then I forget all about it and write something nice on their latest post, only to be met - again - by a curt message saying that my comment 'will be visible after the administrator's approval'. Then I feel like an idiot for forgetting the terms and conditions. I want instant gratification. I want to express unconditional love.

Come on - take it on the chin like the rest of us.

37 comments:

  1. I'm just grateful for any comments so I never moderate them. That could change when I become famous of course.

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    Replies
    1. When you're famous, you might be more generous than John about employing someone to handle your fan mail.

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  2. It's not a good week for me unless you have written something bitchy at least once ......

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  3. I'm glad you didn't mention John's bottom.

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    1. That would be a cheap trick to get more readers. Christ knows how or why they flock to hear his shit posts, but they do, and they do in greater numbers than any cookery blog could procure.

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    2. Fuck off( and I 'm not joking!)

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    3. I wish you would sort the fucking clock out Stephenson.

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  4. I've had a negative comment once and it surprised me as I don't write a controversial blog.

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    Replies
    1. Well, it's probably just because you live in a controversial country. Don't take it personally - but I know that is easy for me to say, now that the Falklands War has been over for a few years.

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  5. I don't really understand these things but I find whenever I try to "take it on the chin" the trolls are quickly in with their noxious adverts disguised as comments. The spam detector can't catch them all. So now I've settled for whatever system it is I've got set up. Less time wasting deletions and headaches.

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  6. That is the illusion of control, some people need it.

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  7. I'm like Sue in that I'm still so grateful for comments on my blog that I never thought if moderating them. The one time I got some nasty comments from a certain well-known troll I just laughed it off. I'm scared of plenty of things in life, but Internet jerks aren't one of them!

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    Replies
    1. You obviously haven't noticed me hiding in the bushes outside your house for the last few weeks then?

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  8. Why do some fools put their spam on a post so old I have to troll to get back to it? Who knows. When I see spam, or a comment too obnoxious to tolerate, I delete it. Then I go to the deleted box and move the comment to spam. Then I go to the spam box and delete it. Then Google marks the IP address as spam. Easy peasy. I deal with half a dozen spams in a year. And, in five years I have deleted exactly one unwanted remark from a blogger.

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    1. Ah yes, I think I remember that one. It was from someone who thought a joke so good that it was worth repeating over 15 times, wasn't it?

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  9. I live in constant fear of giving offense. Apparently I don't know how to tell what is nice and what is nasty.

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    1. I can vouch for that. I have about 40 years experience of you - with a little break during the last 35. X

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  10. I only use comment moderation for posts over two weeks ago, to ward off all the spam that pops up on old posts. I think some people have been especially targetted by quite vicious trolls, and have resorted to comment moderation for that reason.

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  11. I'm always glad to get any comments, good or bad and if they're bad then I'm more than happy to debate why they're bad. A person shouldn't write one-sided blogs whereby they are always right and the person replying isn't. Unfortunately there are a few who pride themselves on how abrupt they are, who can be quite offensive in what they blog about, use foul language just to get effect and yet refuse to take the same stuff back as comments.

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    Replies
    1. Won't be the first time I've had that said recently, nice one.

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  12. Tom, I listened to you weeks ago and took the moderation off...........I get very few comments anyway so it hasn't made any difference.....where's the unconditional love now eh?

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    Replies
    1. I'll be back. It will come gushing out in a torrent... (Ooooh, Matron...)

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    2. I've just checked, and left sage words of advice regarding your recent distressing situation.

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  13. Trolls and spammers. They ruin the fun - nasty and nice - for everyone. No moderation for me, but I'm awfully glad I have a Delete key.

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    1. So am I. I'm fed up with fashion blogs. (Only joking! X)

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  14. Those who moderate comments are pathetic (in my opinion). If you [the blogger] thinks someone's comment is rubbish why delete it? Why not let all the world see what an ass the commentator has made of him/herself? If indeed they are [an ass]. Others may take a different view.

    There is one, beloved by some, who is so insecure, so unsure of herself that at the slightest hint that you may look at an issue in a way different to hers she will delete you and go into one of her perpetual sulks. She underlines her view of the world, nay shortens it, with plenty of expletives. I can only guess at that person's age but would have thought that once you are past sixty one's vocabulary should be extensive enough to use less colourful and more imaginative language.

    You may now tell me to eff off, Tom.

    Thank you.

    U

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    Replies
    1. Now let me see... who can you be talking about? Anyway, why should you be treated any different to anyone else? Fuck off (Only kidding! I too am over sixty - today is my 65th) and I relish foul language even more than I used to.)

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  15. The bitchontheblog's description of the person is very true and it is always pathetic when someone who seems to rate her own intelligence quite highly, can't accept that somebody with an alternative view might be just as intelligent.

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