Ok, the full moon is over (isn't it?), I got away without being killed by the lunatic giant in the pub last night (so far) and today I am fitting a new heating element in the water heater (hopefully without flooding the place or electrocuting myself).
What I want to know is - if there is such a shortage of well-paid work in the U.K. - how come it takes weeks, years or decades to get an electrician or plumber to come round to do an hour's work for £80? I think that it might have been easier to get a little job like this done in Soviet Russia.
Bath does not have enough Polish people living nearby compared to Oxfordshire, where a whole team of non English-speaking experts are renovating that fabulous Tudor house I have told you about. They all do a great job, and are very happy with about £20 per hour to take home to Poland, whereas our skilled manual labourers would not get out of bed for less than a month's contract. It might shake them all up if we do leave the E.U.
"Who uses immersion heaters these days?" was the somewhat snide remark made by a friend in the pub last night.
"We do, actually, otherwise why would I need to repair it?" I quickly forgave him this slur when he defended me from a beating by the lunatic giant.
Price comparison: Is it worth changing our electricity provider? Not when you bills are about £500 a year, it isn't. This figure produced a similar slur from the electrician when he eventually came round after a week's begging.
"How much do I owe you?" I asked him after he spent 3 minutes just to tell me that I needed a plumber, not an electrician.
"Well it should be £65 plus VAT, but I will charge you £10." I was so insulted that I gave him £20.
Our house has no mains gas, which means that there is one less thing I have to worry about when in bed. We - no, I - cook on bottled gas, and use three 15KG bottles of butane a year. Our cooking gas bills are about £100 per year, compared with everyone else's combined heating bills of about £2,500+ on average.
My car insurance is up for renewal next month, and my current broker quoted £305 with a £250 excess on claims. I went to another broker and was quoted £214 with an excess of £150, plus a brand-new windscreen for £40. Result.
I like shopping in Lidl.
Have I gone down in your estimation?