You are going to like this one.
My client from the beautiful Oxfordshire manor house told me she needed a hearth stone for a fire-surround I had made for her, and said she would send a full-sized template so that there could be no mistake in dimensions. That was about a six weeks or so before Christmas.
After New Year's Eve, she called me up and asked if I had received the template, and I said that I had not. We blamed its non-arrival on the Christmas post rush and assumed it to be lost forever, so she said she would get a new one made and send it this week.
She called me yesterday morning and asked if it had arrived, and I told her 'not yet'. About half an hour later, the doorbell went and the postie was standing there with a huge cardboard covering containing the template.
I took it upstairs and opened one end of it, exposing the template. It is made from the sort of corrugated black plastic which is designed to protect floors from the footfall of messy builders, and was obviously the first flat stuff to come to hand for use as a template. It looked strangely familiar.
Then I remembered the black plastic bin-liner containing some dirty, black plastic rubbish which was sent to me weeks ago last year - the rubbish which I accused a few of you of sending to me maliciously; the rubbish which I spent many paranoid hours trying to work out who would have sent it and why; the rubbish which I decided to try and forget by taking it outside and stuffing it into a street bin to be taken away by the council...