Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Us as seen by them


It was very stormy last night, in more ways than one.

Lying in bed, listening to the windows rattle at the same time as listening a shipping forecast so dire, that there was an advance warning about it so as not to shock any land-locked listeners.

"Gale force 8, storm force 10, violent storm force 11, hurricane force 12..." The Christmas lights would have flown away were they not tethered to the building. It has been blowing and raining for about 2 months. It's getting a bit boring.

I was accused of displaying Tourette's syndrome by my only follower on Facebook last night, so I have decided to call it a day and never go back. I have already accused myself of this many times in the past in order to justify my unthinking and somewhat - no, very - rude schoolboy humour when I blurt out reactions to things which I think are funny, but many don't seem to share this opinion. I take childish pride in my speed of reaction, but this comes at the expense of not thinking things through.

This bloke on Facebook is exactly the same age as me and has a quite extreme form of OCD, to the extent that nothing is done in his working world without the use of an alarm clock. He, as I was, is surrounded by a load of youthful hedonists in the world of social media, but he - unlike me - seems to be blissfully unaware of his irrelevance to them. We were both tolerated by them, but he could not tolerate me and prefers - unlike me - to be humoured by them. At least I deliberately lose my dignity.

There is, according to him, a right way of doing things and a wrong way of doing things, and the way he does them is always right, even if it is wrong. He has often told me that I am not doing something right in my work, even though he has no experience of it other than having watched other people during his 64 years on this planet.

There is also a right time for doing things (such as two minutes past five as set on the clock of his phone) and a wrong time, and any disruption to his timetable or schedule throws him into utter mental anguish. A misplaced chair or a rug which is two degrees out of square to the wall produces such an unsettling feeling within him that he cannot rest until the situation has been remedied.

A month or so ago, some bastard hi-jacked my account and posted up pornographic photos which I could not see until I went to someone else's site. I asked for advice as to what to do about it, and he replied by saying that I should make a public apology.

Well you can only imagine how he reacts to my particular brand of expletive-ridden humour in a public arena. I even disappoint myself a lot of the time.

I cannot decide if I get too involved, or not involved enough. I would ask your advice about this, but every time I do, I get instructions from some people in the guise of advice. I'm fine at taking orders in the working world, but not in the social one.

It has gone almost as dark as night outside, and soon I will go out and try to use 240 volt power-tools under a flimsy canopy under which the rain will be horizontally blowing. At least it will keep the dust down.

26 comments:

  1. The above is a portrait of me by H.I. The only time I pose for her is when I'm asleep.

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  2. Best to be rude to people who can take it, or enjoy it, or deserve it

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    1. Best practice, yes, but it's not what I am known for.

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  3. A more muscular arm than I remember but I would know that hand and wrist anywhere.

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    1. I did change my job when you left and developed some quite impressive muscles. but I think that upper arm is more the puff of the sleeves.

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  4. There's a man who shops in the same supermarket as me, who has Tourettes. I've noticed recently that he has a whistle permanently in his mouth, which he blows when the urge is upon him. I think I preferred him before. Nice drawing.

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    1. Hmm. Maybe I should get myself a whistle.

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  5. I used to know (and like) someone known as 'Tourette's Bob'. He got away with blue murder - 'officialdom' avoided him at all costs. A genuine affliction but it had it's own rewards....

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  6. Nice to see that picture again.
    You have at least two followers on FB, as I am one. Fortunately, I only look at FB when there are no magazines available in the doctor's waiting room, so I miss most of the activity.

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    1. You're not missing much from me, apart from some profanities.

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  7. As Two Bear used to say: "Some people would kick if you hung 'em with a new rope."

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    1. I'll have to look that one up, but thanks.

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  8. I can't remember anything about last night. I had to look to see what I had written this morning.

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  9. You really did leave Facebook! I get an error message when I search for you. Now I'll never know what terrible thing you said to piss off the world. I'll miss seeing you there.

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    1. Don't worry, the next time I see that cunt (who is on holiday right now) I will call him such, but I hope he reads this before I do. He is the senior manager of our pub, but only senior because he is old. I didn't say anything that bad on Facebook, however.

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  10. Poor Tom. Perhaps you are terribly misunderstood.

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    1. That's very nice of you to say, Weave, but I have a terrible feeling that I was well understood! X

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  11. I am stopping by here again before the end of 2015, to say that I have enjoyed reading your posts very much. Hoping that the new year will grant me more open time to leave comments.

    I do like that drawing.

    I will never be part of FB. My inner jury is still out on whether I might ever own a smartphone. Friends urge me to sign up for Instagram, and yet I resist. I'd rather have more time for drawing.

    Happy New Year.

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    1. I would probably have a smart phone if they didn't use so much power that they have to be charged every day. I have a phone which is sort of in the D stream as far as smartness goes. It gets the internet, but only after it has built up a head of steam. Happy New Year to you too.

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  12. Lovely drawing! Happy New Year to you and HI.

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    1. Oh, that confused me - a different Frances. Happy New Year to you too, too.

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  13. Our first and last attempt at FB introduced an expensive to remove nasty into our system. So never again. We shall struggle on with T'internet and Sky and think we are doing well -for our age. We do not have a child to hand to fix things.
    I was going to say that FB f***ed things up, but I just couldn't say or write it. Lesley

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    1. I know what you mean. The children I have on hand have been told so many times that they are all natural genius' with computers that they have come to believe it. I have to sort this stuff out on my own, which obviously keeps me youthful. Facebook just makes me feel old, apart from anything else.

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