Thursday 11 June 2015

Growing up in the 1950s


Hiding in amongst the Summer bracken, sitting on soft, sandy, acidic soil, keeping one eye out for adders and the other for discarded copies of 'Health and Efficiency' magazine.

The lies our fathers told us could be placed in a scale of wickedness, depending on our parent's sense of humour and how prepared they wanted us to be when we entered the outside world for the first time.

I had friends who passed on information concerning the orientation of Oriental women's reproductive organs as if it were biological fact. Who knows the motive for this? Could it be that the father wanted his son to experience as much of the world as he could before becoming as entrapped and confined as himself, or could it be that this was the only way he could tell a ridiculous joke about sliding down bannisters in a way that the boy would find funny? Either way, the boy fell at the first hurdle and it would take years to forget the logic and laugh.

I still know grown adults who believe that Gulls inland were blown off-course by a storm out to sea, no matter how many times they have seen them rip up bin-liners in city centres.

The only risque joke I ever remember my father telling me:

Two Catholic priests are walking down the street when they see a Rabbi trip up and fall over. When the Rabbi gets to his feet, they see him make the sign of the cross with his right hand, so go over to ask him why he did it.

"I was just checking," says the Rabbi, "Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch."

The gulf between children and parents was massive in those days, and often persisted right into adulthood. Was that a bad thing?

I remember a girl whose mother couldn't stand the idea of being a grandmother, and so treated her own daughter more like a sister, insisting that her girl called her by her first name. She didn't want to age, you see.

"I don't want you as a friend," her daughter would say, "I want you as a mother."

25 comments:

  1. My father told me this one...

    Fuller picked up Lady Bagshaw from the station in his horse drawn taxi. Half way home the horse let out an enormous fart.

    "Sorry about that mi-Lady" said Fuller.

    "Oh that's all right, Fuller" said Lady Bagshaw "Actually, I'd thought it was the horse".

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  2. Not sure what state that gulf between parents and children is now Tom. I suspect it is very little different in truth. Now that children have so much more freedom than we had they can get up to all sorts of high jinks without parents ever knowing about them. In my day if I stepped out of line my mother knew about it I seem to recall.

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    1. In some households, maybe. In most, I suspect four-letter words flow freely between 3 generations. They do in mine.

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  3. My father died at the breakfast table telling a dirty joke

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    1. My mother died in bed, 3 seconds after she asked/told my father to change the TV channel.

      Her last words were, "This is a load of rubbish. What's on the other side?"

      I think that is wonderful.

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    2. P.S. - In my original response before Google cut me off - again - I asked if you knew what the punch-line to your father's joke was?

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    3. " and the Bishop said , two melons and a jar of vaseline !"

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    4. Can you remember the rest of it too?

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    5. He can't have taken the first part to the grave, surely?

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    6. Im jokng
      We never knew what he said...my mother was drinking gin at the time

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    7. Shucks - I should have guessed.

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  4. I don't remember my father, who was quite strict and at the same time reserved, ever telling a joke. I do remember that he often use to sing to himself quietly "a black cat nastied in a white cat's eye". I didn't hear him sing any other song to himself.

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    1. I don't think I've heard that one before, Philip. Any chance of you singing it on You Tube for us?

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  5. Don't remember my dad ever telling joke. He probably didn't know any!

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  6. My father was the master of the pun. They could take years to sink in. At the dinner table my sister wanted to know why the fish were presented flattened on the dish like two wings. Dad replied that's how their insides were removed. That's awful, my four year old sister replied. It certainly is, my dad responded. I was the only one who laughed. I was fourteen.
    Otherwise, I can tell you the gulf between children and grandmothers remains as broad as that between parents and children in my day. I doubt my granddaughters could tolerate a retelling of my father's joke about the blooper maker.

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    1. I've read that pun three times now, and it still needs explaining, Joanne.

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    2. awful/offal
      She said removing fish insides was awful, and he agreed.

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  7. My Dad was always telling jokes …..
    A new resident in the Old Peoples Home staggered into the lounge on his two sticks.
    ' I bet none of you can tell how old I am ' he said.
    An old woman got up from her Parker Knoll armchair and staggered over to him on her Zimmer frame.
    She proceeded to open his fly, put her hand in and have a good root around for about 5 minutes.
    ' You're 81 years and 7 months old' she said
    ' That's absolutely right ' he said.' How on earth can you tell my age by doing that ? '
    ' I heard you telling the nurse this morning ' she said !!!!!!!
    XXXX

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    1. Yes, I like that one. It's almost as good as President Regan asking a resident if she knew who he was...

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