Monday 16 March 2015

Hot lips


These belong to Michelangelo's David, and have you ever seen such a lascivious face on any other giant-killer?

When I was art school, there was a cupboard full of Victorian plaster-casts of various parts of David's anatomy (except that one) and I mounted his nose in a large bit of tree-trunk which had the right proportions to his head.

I have already told you the story about the couple of Welsh farmers who asked me to price for the making of a full-sized copy of David in white marble and who, when I had - after about twenty minutes with a calculator - thanked me and said they would get back in touch with me about it. I'm still waiting.

For many years, David was a visual cliche to be found in the foyers of many run-down gay bars and in the apartments of gay couples whose taste in interior design left quite a lot to be desired, though usually they were only about three feet tall - the Davids, not the couples.

The heterosexual equivalent was Rodin's 'The Thinker' or, more overtly, 'The Kiss'.

When in Quebec for an international snow-carving festival, I thought it would be a good joke to carve two full-sized 'Thinkers' back to back, with some books in between them as if on a shelf. The organisers marvelled at my ambition.

By the time I and my two assistants had arrived at the airport and one of them had rammed me in the ankle with her luggage trolley, the idea started to become a little less realistic, especially since neither of them could carve anything at all, let alone a full-sized Rodin sculpture, x2.

Unable to climb a ladder, I was forced to stand at the bottom - in minus 30 degree temperatures - shouting instructions up to the incompetents: "Take a bit off from there! No, not there, there!" so the end result was a disgrace, but still vaguely recognisable, making it even more of a disgrace.

Still, it got me on Blue Peter.

15 comments:

  1. Hope you wear your Blue Peter badge on special occasions.

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  2. Weave beat me to it re the Blue Peter badge !! You should write to them and demand a golden one { badge that is !! }
    I'm afraid to admit that I have Dave's head { shabby and distrssed } in our conservatory …. Being the discerning sculptor that you are, you will probably never speak to me again !!!! XXXX

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    1. I'm not so keen on it myself - like I say, he looks very debauched for a giant-slayer.

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  3. I recently read that a man in the UK is taking plaster molds of bums and you can get a bronze anus. Seeing that plaster cast reminded me of this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elQGa97sNFM

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    1. When my anus wears out - as it surely will - I'm going to get one of those. Like gold teeth, I would imagine.

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    2. I've just watched the video. I have got a load of that alginate - enough to cast hundreds of arse holes. Maybe I should give it a try, though I would dress up in surgical attire.

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  4. Got on well with your two assistants then.

    Can you tell Weave and Jackie that we've been all through the Blue Peter badges not long ago. Thank you.

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    Replies
    1. You must be busy. You didn't start shouting at me. Anyway, you can take it as done.

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  5. The lips look very feminine. That Kim Kardigan comes to mind.

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  6. Gorgeous lips - if you had tried to sculpture them in ice, the ice might have melted.

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