Sunday, 4 January 2015

Fly on the wall


INTERIOR. A STATE-ROOM IN BUCK HOUSE. NIGHT.

A DOOR IS OPENED BY A FOOTMAN, AND A PORTLY MAN IN AN ILL-FITTING SUIT IS LET IN.

"Hello Mama! We had a wonderful time skiing in...."

"Sit down Andrew."

ANDREW SITS DOWN.

"Did you fuck her?"

"Well the thing is, Ma, it was, like, I mean to say that....."

"DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT FUCK HER???!!!"


36 comments:

  1. Lillibet would say " boff" not fuck

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  2. These are troubling times in the kingdom.

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    Replies
    1. Another annus (my spell-checker says 'anus') horribillis (my spell-checker says 'hornbills').

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  3. I didn't know that sexcapades were news worthy in Britain. Thought only us Americans were puritanical.

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    1. That is true. The case is being brought over by American solicitors.

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  4. One of them is telling porkies..... but which one. One suspects that the one who's lost her youthful good looks, and can no longer charge big bucks for a 'massage', needs another source of income. Even if he did screw her; so bloody what.

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    1. "Telling Porkies" made me giggle. Never heard that expression before!

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    2. Cockney rhyming slang: Pork Pie = Lie.

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  5. N.B. What have you done to poor Rachel; she seems to have disappeared off the face of Blogland. ???

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    1. 'Poor' Rachel? Try having her latch onto you for a few months and say that again.

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    2. I must admit, as a new follower, I didn't understand the repartee between the two of you. Wondered if I just wasn't getting the jist of Brits. Please forgive me if I ever say anything insulting or rude. I don't get out much and would just die if I thought I had said something I shouldn't have said.

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    3. If you were me, you would have died years ago, then.

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  6. Yeah. Where's Rachel gone?

    Rachel?

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    Replies
    1. Rachel hasn't gone anywhere - not even Eastern Europe.

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    2. So she has. Well don't blame me. She'll be back.

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    3. Sooner than you might think...

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  7. I am missing her too! You haven't been to E. England have you Tom?

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    1. No, and I'm not going to go to North Wales, either.

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  8. Ok, I will unblock Rachel, but I doubt whether she will ever talk to me again - or so she says in an email to me. It might have been fun for you lot to watch her having a go at me six or seven times on each post, but I started to lose my sense of humour, which is breaking a rule for me.

    Maybe you are also missing all the other followers who have jumped ship over the last few days too, or haven't you noticed they have gone?

    Pretty soon, that idea of talking to one person when writing a blog is going to become a reality.

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    1. I'll tell you what might put this into perspective a little better, and that is that her idea of familiarity to people she does not know that well seems to be to talk to them in the same way that she talks to her Partner - abusively - or at least disrespectfully - if what she says is anything to go by. Alright, I know I don't often deserve to be spoken to at all (sorry again, Jack@), but I do like to kid myself quite often.

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    2. You don't have to say sorry to me Tom …… you have a right to your opinion and I'm not miffed at all ….. I just thought that I'd explain a few of the logistics about music with fireworks and all that goes with it !!!! ….. Too many cooks and all that.
      But, our son is very good at what he does, and, it is a mother's duty to say so !!!! haha. XXXX

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  9. i wonder what Prince Phillip said....

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Just say it, Britta - you're making Rachel paranoid.

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  11. There are so many things I could comment about in the comments, and not just the ones referring to me, but I would land myself in BIG trouble so I'll keep my thoughts to myself.

    As for the Prince and did he fuck her, he probably did and I bet she was gagging for it.

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    1. And she was 17, and not just 14 like you have to be in Spain before some old bastard like me gets hold of you.

      Welcome back, Rach, and keep blogging. X

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    2. Awww....it's just like watching the end of lassie come home

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    3. Your'e next on my block-list - or you would be if 80% of my traffic didn't seem to come via your animal-shit rants.

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  12. I'm so glad mommy and daddy are talking again

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