Tuesday 23 December 2014

Round Robin


2014 comes to an end and what a year it's been!

The council finally gave the go-ahead for the eight-foot security fence which will divide us from the dreadful couple who live next door, and is being erected as I write by a team of Poles who seem quite happy to do the job for £2 less than the minimum wage, and don't seem to mind working at a time when everyone else is madly spending money instead of earning it.

This has produced a bit of a moral dilemma for us though, because we are wondering how the election of the new UKIP member we voted in is going to impact on the cheap foreign labour in our neighbourhood. I suppose we will just have to put our money where our mouths are, and pay through the nose in the future.

We were hoping that the eldest would be let out on compassionate leave to join us for Christmas, and this may have been the case if he had not broken the legs of a suspected paedophile on his wing. As it turned out, the bloke was just between cell-mates which was why he was in solitary, but you can never be too careful. It could be worse. I hear they are allowed a can of lager on the 25th. Let's hope it's alcohol-free - he's a nightmare after a drink or two, and it won't do him any good with the parole board!

His sister is coming round on the day, and we are dreading it. It's not so much her - she is no trouble at all when she's pissed, she just falls into a coma and we don't hear a peep for 12 hours. It's more to do with her boys, who nobody can control - not even the professionals. I expect that both sets of foster parents will be glad of a break from them, even if it is only for 24 hours.

The youngest is showing no sign at all of finding himself a job, nor does he look as though he is ever going to move out so we can let the spare room, and heaven knows we could do with the cash. He just uses the place as a hotel, sleeping all day and out all night. I don't know where he finds the money, but I have my suspicions.

On the rare occasions when he is home before 10 o'clock, the doorbell is constantly ringing and the traffic between the outside and his bedroom is like Piccadilly bloody Circus. Not one of them stays for longer than three minutes, so they can't exactly be having a discourse on the meaning of life.

Not that we ever see a penny of his ill-gotten gains. You would think that with the turnover that he must have, he could at least give Her Indoors a few quid toward the housekeeping, but that seems to be a bit too much to ask.

I suppose we are going to have to visit her mother sometime around Christmas too, but I ask you - what's the point when she doesn't even know the name of the current Prime Minister? Actually, now I think about it, neither do I.

Its the same every year since we put her in the home. They all sit around with paper hats on, staring blankly at the walls with saliva coming from the corners of their mouths while some old fart plays music from the 1930s on a badly-tuned piano. It's so bloody depressing and I can never wait to leave.

To tell the truth, I will be glad when it's all over so we can get back to normal.

Happy Christmas!

26 comments:

  1. So you are going alright then?

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  2. Sounds like a barrel of larfs. Our youngest, who is with us at the moment, leaves for Germany on Christmas Eve, so we won't have the pleasure of his company for the big day. He flies back to Oz on the 28th. Looks like another Skype Christmas for the Magnons.

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    1. Well have electronic fun then. At least you can switch them off when you get tired.

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  3. Thank you so much for sharing your lovely Xmas update. It brought a warm feeling to know there are still families out there who bother to keep in touch with everyone to let them know their news. Off to write my round robin now.

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    1. Yes, it warms you to the bottom of your heart, doesn't it?

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  4. I hope the robing on the stump emitting snow is encased in a globe. What are prims?

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    1. I was hoping you could tell me what prims are - it is an American article, and I have never heard of them.

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    2. That's no American robin.
      If it weren't for round robins and funerals, I wouldn't know I had cousins.

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    3. Maybe it's Canadian? It is sold in dollars, and it doesn't look like Australia or Jamaica. Sounds like you are running out of cousins...

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    4. Here's the Nancy Drew report.
      The stump and the "robin" live in a virtual world, but apparently it look nice with virtual everything else, according to the lone review I encountered. Prims seem to be units of occupancy of the virtual world. Membership is required to learn more; I left.

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  5. Love it ! We get a " Xmas letter" from old acquaintances, not really friends, and it is always about how wonderful their kids are etc… They have been snorkelling in somewhere hot this year, the parents that is! stuff and nonsense! Just for the record, my 3 boys are all doing very well in their jobs, thank you, and one of them has also produced 2 grandkids! Middle son and fiancee are cooking Xmas dinner, so they are the tops! Have a great time. Love the blog.X

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    1. Snorkelling sounds a bit naughty to me, but then I would say that, wouldn't I?

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  6. Glad to hear the family are doing so well and those A*s we heard so much about certainly paid off. BTW can you send your youngest over here. He might not give you anything but I am sure he would have something I could use.

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    1. You wouldn't want that stuff, I can assure you. I am sure Norwich A and E is overloaded this time of year as it is.

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  7. Oh Tom this did make us laugh - such an antidote to some of the round robins we get - all about exotic foreign travel and brilliant grandchildren. Happy Christmas.

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    1. I've only ever had one real Round Robin in my life, and that was from my daughter's grandfather who was a complete and utter, self-centred bastard with a very long-suffering wife who was a child hero for the French resistance in WW2. He, on the other hand, was a town road planner for the outskirts of East London.

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  8. I might do a different blog using the pseudonym of 'Snowy Stump'.

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  9. I am befuddled and confused. What 8 foot fence? Don't you live in an apartment? What dreadful couple next door? Are you speaking metaphorically or is there really someone living next door who cooks cabbage every day?

    I did figure our the 'prims', though. The robin on the log is part of an online 3-D world and 'prims' seems to refer to 'primitive object'.

    I guess you can build yourself an online world, if the real one around you does not suit you.

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    1. I think you worked it all out eventually, even though I don't believe your explanation for 'prims'.

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    2. Still befuddled, but the prim explanation is true. I simply googled the text in your picture and it came up on a website called second life. Don't know what it's all about except that it seems to be an imaginary world.

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  10. Replies
    1. I've just been round yours, and you have excelled yourself in typos - I hope that's a symptom of the booze and not stress! Have you finished for the year now?

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    2. I have made sure I haven't got enough petrol in the car to make it over the bridge - I don't want to end up with you looking after me in traction - but I can think of worse! X

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