Thursday, 27 March 2014

Too much, too soon


I can't believe the animal-hoarder was moaning about being a few short of having 700 followers, and I can't believe that about 6 people actually responded to his petulant screams for even more attention by signing up - just to shut him up - like giving into the child in a sweetshop.

You know what you have done now, don't you? Next thing, he will be saying that 706 is 'unbalanced' (sic), but it should be 'imbalanced'. No, wait a minute, he might have meant 'unbalanced' after all, without even realising it. No, wait again - he only used the word 'balance'. I am putting words into his mouth (ooh, missus), but I just know he would have said that.

Whatever, the more you give into him, the more he will want until he will be asking you to round it up to the nearest sixth zero, such is his insatiable desire for fame and notoriety. It has gone to his head, and we all have a responsibility to bring him down to earth gently - Going Gently.

I wonder if - when he gets his own T.V. series, as he surely will - he will bother with all of us who put him where he is today, and I wonder if he will have the time to take care of all those animals which also put him on the map?

What will happen to all those poor souls in Intensive Care, when he takes his uniform off for the last time?

All I would say to him is remember the Singing Nun, John.

Think on, lad. Think on.

60 comments:

  1. All jokes about dirty habits welcome.

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  2. I prefer black habits
    They are much more flattering on the hips

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    Replies
    1. Coarse, rough ones, I dare say.

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    2. I'm weaving him a hair shirt.

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    3. Weave him a hairy chest - he likes those.

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    4. Too bloody right!
      I like my men rugged

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    5. Is that 'rugged' as in 'carpeted', or rugged as in a Welsh mountain like Mol y Golva?

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    6. Then Russel Crowe is the man for you. Proceed with y blessings/

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    7. OH F.F.S! - This is the third time I have mistyped this comment!

      Then Russel Crowe is the man for you. Proceed with my blessings.

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    8. What do you call a man with a load of dried leaves on his head?

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    9. Or: What do you call an Irishman who has been dead for 600 years? Pete.

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  3. Aunty Gladys has already been put on overtime. Fan mail, and chicken bottom wiping.

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    Replies
    1. Her kitchen is no longer big enough.

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  4. If we don't watch out he will be the next Alan Titchsmarsh and we will never forgive ourselves.

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    Replies
    1. Titchmarsh - another unlikely sex-symbol.

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    2. I have you know..I have the perfect face for television!

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    3. Perfect arse - as exposed to the rest of the villagers on a regular basis.

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    4. I suspect that is a sexual fantasy of yours!

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    5. Maybe, but with Charlie Dimmock, not you.

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. I am going to take a little while to understand this one, Susie/

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    2. Oh, you deleted it. Now I will never understand.

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  6. Dear Tom,
    as you are wary (or was it 'weary'?) of my youtube links, I have to sing myself: "Dominique, nique, nique ...il ne parle que du bon Dieu". Maybe that is the gentle way... but there is a lesson in it: when the singing nun became secular, she soon was forgotten. So: beware of fickle fame, J.G.

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    1. I know. That's why I made the allusion without resorting to You Tube links. She not only became secular, she became a fully-fledged carpet-muncher as well. Sad end, though.

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    2. My vocabulary has broadend again.

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    3. Yep - having a gap in education there.

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  7. National 'Have A Go At John' Day?' You're on your own Stephenson

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    1. Then why did you - like Heron - bother to join this little party, Golver?

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    2. (John, put her right could you? Either she is serious, or I don't understand Welsh humour.)

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    3. I think she has even jumped ship! As if I can afford to lose followers like the animal-hoarder!

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    4. I thought heron might pop up
      All the talk of habits
      Nuns look a little like Druids

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    5. Especially the bearded ones.

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    6. You don't understand Welsh humour and 'No I'm not serious and this is getting complicated

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    7. Oh, after all that druidic stuff, I am getting paranoid. Carry on - with my apologies.

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  8. You are right. It didn't make sense.

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    Replies
    1. Have another try. You've got two goes left.

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    2. Briefly, there is a lot of sucking up in blogging. Almost everywhere.

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    3. I would suck-up, but what good has it done me in the past? Anyway, I draw the line at sucking anything of John's.

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    4. I like it when he calls me a cow. One has to do some non-sucking up to get called a cow. Most women probably prefer all those xxxxxxs.

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    5. He calls me a cow every now and then, if that's any consolation to you.

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    6. I feel all warm and fuzzy. Like a cow. Moo.

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    7. I feel a bout of bovine encephalomyelitis coming on.

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  9. still thinking of an insult, I still have nothing.

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  10. I first knew John back in the day someone discovered him standing in the Ukrainian village. I believe he had the usual numbers back then. Has anyone studied the cause of the bell curve? Tom complains about his overreaching, but I'm sure some investigation could reveal the method, if not to all of us, to Tom.

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    Replies
    1. That Google Streets picture is seven years old. He is wearing trousers in it, I believe. I experience The Bell curve every night.

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  11. Did I miss him on The Voice or something?

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    Replies
    1. Ah. You forget the subtitles, didn't you?

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  12. For some unknown reason, my earlier comment didn't take. I had the earworm "Dominique" after reading your blog entry, and i see now that i wasn't the only one.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, it was going through my head all day yesterday as well. It's just started again. Thanks.

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  13. Forget the nun, bring on the priest.

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    1. I have been trying to forget the nun for about 45 years now, but that bloody song keeps going through my head again. I might do you a priest story.

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  14. This photo reminds me of Donald Sutherland and tool boxes. Should I see a professional?

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    1. A professional what? Do you need an actor, a plumber or a nun? Maybe the nun would have some DeWalt tools in their kit... aha - maybe I know where you are going with this one...

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